How I Accidentally Worked On A Porn Set

I entered, finally knowing what I had gotten myself into and therefore prepared for anything. Jessica stood in the corner with her bathrobe on as Robert lay on a light green futon with a towel over his junk.

“We need lipstick removal,” said the cinematographer.

I shot a concerned look at him, assuming he had meant I would need to take lipstick off of this dude’s dick. I slowly took a wet wipe out of my pack and approached the futon, unable to simply tell them that, no, I did not want to go near this guy’s business and shame on all of them for being sneaky about this all. My face must have looked confused as my hand started reaching for the towel because Robert abruptly said, “Whoa, no girl, not there—it’s on my neck.”

And suddenly, I looked like the pervert.

My indignant self-righteousness practically imploded within me. After wiping the sticky mess (the lip gloss, that is) from this guy’s Adam’s apple, I managed to fight through the rest of the set by chowing down on all the snacks. I convinced a friend to pick me up so I didn’t have to share another twenty minute ride with Radio Disney’s oldest fan and jetted out of there.

A few months later, I was with Heidi—oddly enough, in a sex shop—and received a call from the director asking if I wanted to be on the IMDB page for the film. Though I was tempted to say yes, I primarily opted out because of the name of it. I won’t tell you what the movie was called, but it had all the charm of titles like Naughty Nurses 7 or Big Bad Daddies in Paris, if you catch my drift.

Basically, if I had just asked what the goddamned script was called, I could’ve avoided the whole experience.

Nevertheless, I wasn’t kidnapped and it makes a good story, so I suppose it was worth it in the end—especially for the snacks, all of which I took home with me.

Share This Post:
    • L

      “And suddenly, I looked like the pervert.” LOL!

      awesome story!!

    • bean

      Reading this was the highlight of my day.

    • Katie

      This was so funny and wonderful. Please write more, Samantha!

      • Sam

        Thank you all, I’m hoping to! :D

    • Libby

      This was really entertaining!
      “Whoa, no girl, not there—it’s on my neck.”
      I would’ve been so embarrassed.

    • Amber Nefertari

      What an awesome post! This was hilarious, I am surprised you didn’t hear anything akward while you were waiting eating you ‘snacks’. How could you even eat snacks with that going on hahaha!

      beautyandthestreetmag.blogspot.com

    • ash

      w00000000000!

    • Tori B.

      So, wait….. you opted out of IMDB attaching your name to it, but then wrote an article about the experience?…..

      • Sam

        Haha, I can see how it might seem strange, but I have a few reasons:
        1) It’s been three years and I’ve since decided not to 100% pursue a career in makeup.
        2) I was 19 when this happened and my parents weren’t particularly pleased that my job (outside of going to college) was not on campus, it was actually working 36 hrs/week on sets, often until late at night. But they would’ve been flat-out upset if they had realized I had worked on an adult film, ha. Their opinion holds considerably less sway on my life nowadays.
        3) Anybody who reads this article will realize that adult film makeup is not my profession or focus because this explains the whole situation; an IMDB credit would not be listed as “Sam Escobar….Accidental Makeup Artist.”

    • Eagle Eye

      Great post…what people will do for their snacks…

    • AL

      i loved this! i now work as a celebrity make-up artist but i used to do makeup for a few porn films many (so many) years ago and had many similar awkward moments.. like when the guys would sit in the makeup chair for touch ups naked and i would be mortified and mumble for them to put some pants on, embarrassing them and me. one time we were out on a boat and i was asked to hold a reflector light over the couple.. stuck on a swaying boat sea sick and standing right on top them watching them go at it was awful!