• Sat, Aug 11 2012

Instant Love: I Just Discovered Nail Strips And So Should You

Yes, I'm not wearing pants, but we all know how things roll in my apartment.

While Wright has been gallivanting around town with her “fembot” looking Essie’s “No Place Like Chrome” nail polish, I’ve been trying to get my hands in shape for a proper manicure. As we all know, I have some wonky ass paws thanks to my cleaning addiction and I’m so sick of telling my manicurist that I “fell off my bike on Houston Street,” to explain the open wounds on my hands that are actually from overuse of Clorox wipes, so I’ve been laying low on the manicure front. I also learned about this place in Soho that does crazy nail art which I must have (like pandas!) thanks to following that Lena Dunham gal on Twitter. I think she’s the voice of her generation or something, or maybe a voice of her generation. (That was a Girls joke for those who haven’t seen the show.)

Since I’ve put the kabosh on outsiders touching my hands for the moment (there goes Mandy’s Handy Standy), but can’t live without polish because it’s also part of my OCD, I tried something I would normally never even consider. Hold on to your pants, my loves! Ready? NAIL STRIPS! Yes!

I was hanging around the Duane Reade looking for a date (as I normally do on Tuesdays at 11am), and while I’m waltzing up and down the aisles looking for Mr. Perfect (read: killing time and wondering why they were out of the good paper towels), I came across these Sally Hansen nail strips that you see in the photo above. Call me a snob (because I am), but I usually stick to Chanel, OPI and Essie when it comes to nail polish. However, there was something about the black script against the white that called out to me — it was also called “Love Letter.” Aww! Who just grew a heart? This guy!

I was unsure what a “nail strip” was and assumed it was a sticker that you just stuck on there… but no. It’s actually polish — a thin film of polish! It reeks like polish and stunk up my apartment as if I were in the nail salon. I felt at home. As usual I didn’t read the directions, because I don’t have the attention span for such things, so the first round was a fuck up much to my disappointment that I’m not all-knowing. But when I actually followed the directions word for word, my nails came out spectacularly.

It was easy and the kit had multiple sizes from which to choose; you know, because we all have different size fingers. And within less than 10 minutes I had the manicure you see above. After they dried, I applied a topcoat to make sure everything stayed put against my Clorox wipes and all the other weird things I do with my hands (gazing at them for hours at a time in tapioca.) I’m four days in and have yet to see a single chip situation. The box guaranteed 10 days, but I don’t believe in guarantees. It may not be a panda manicure, but I can attest that every woman and gay man I’ve seen in the last four days has positively commented on my nails. And isn’t that what life is all about? Assurance from others that we’re great? I kid! (Maybe.)

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  • kjon

    Lookin’ good, Chatel, lookin good.

    Damn, I’ve had these sitting in my drawer forever and I never used them! Nice to hear they’re mostly easy to apply. I (inexplicably) bought the fishnet black/nude print instead something more, uh, appropriate. I guess I was feeling extra sassy.

    On the flip side, recently I tried these holographic ice nail shards and they are a PAIN IN THE ASS. So much time peeling them away from their plastic backing with tweezers and placing them oh-so-delicately. Fuck that shit.

    • Amanda Chatel

      Thanks, kjon!

      If you have some in your drawer you should whip ‘em out and give ‘em a whirl. I think the fishnet sound great!

      And what the hell are holographic ice nail shards? They sound deadly… I’ll have to google them in the morning when I’m feeling less lazy.

  • Mag

    After reading some of your posts, I’ve decided that I don’t think you really have anything interesting to say. Maybe you should try less.

    • Ellen

      Did you have a bad day?

    • Amanda Chatel

      I know, right?

      I think this one might be just passing by or new to the group… she posted some other nasty comments on older posts too that popped up in my email last night.

      She might be having a bad month…

    • Jenny

      Well, obviously her writing is good enough for you to pour through all night and comment on. Funny how good writing pulls you in like that….

      By the way, Chatel – I love love LOVE those nails. I’m wondering if I could pull the off….

    • Amanda Chatel

      I love you, Jenny!

      Side note: I’m sure you can pull them off. I firmly believe that if you’re aware your nails are on the ridiculous side, you can totally get away with it. Try ‘em!

  • Quin

    I had a dream last night involving Ryan Gosling and nail strips, and it’s all your fault.

    • Amanda Chatel

      Good!

  • Maria

    I got these on impulse and I was afraid they would look cheap but they’re great. I get tons of complements. I still have trouble using my left had to put them on my right but it’s worth the effort. Yours look great!

  • Fabel

    I also implusively bought these & immediately fucked up the application (I didn’t take the clear top sheet/strip thing off, so they wouldn’t bend to my nail & kept coming off) The only thing I hated was all the garbage it left behind.

  • Kelly-Ann Thompson

    Thanks for the tips, I hate when i apply nail polish and its ruined in like 10 minutes LOL i def wanna try this!!!