• Mon, Aug 13 2012

Video: And Now, An Awkward, Musical Ad For An Indian Vaginal Tightening Gel Called ’18 Again’

Is your vagina feeling worn out, flappy, or just plain unattractive? ’18 Again’ vaginal tightening gel will restore it back to its pristine, original, still-in-the-box condition! Because what sex feels better than fumbling, stinging, membrane-tearing, 18-year-old virgin sex?

No sex, according to the woman in the ad, who waltzes around singing convincingly to everyone about how she feels “like a virgin.” (Madonna’s lawyer on line 1!) Much like that of Jessica on True Blood, her hymen is back in a major way, ready to be sensuously bloodied once again. This appeals to the elderly couple so much that they decide to buy some, too.

I don’t want to be a cultural imperialist here, but the idea that a woman should derive sexual pleasure from feeling like she’s a stupid teenager again (while her partner remains a grown man) is just a little bit gross to me. And that idea is hardly confined to India; one need only look as far as the statistics on vaginoplasty to see that American culture is rife with it. That said, if I’m going to be receiving depressing messages about my ancient, cavernous, 27-year-old vagina, they might as well come with a catchy Bollywood soundtrack.

(Via HuffPost)

 

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  • Lo

    What they oughta do is a round-the-world musical number, with people of all cultures praising the merits of a foil-fresh vagina.

    I want to know just how this gel is supposed to work. There should be a section where they name the provirginols and micro-hymenins that gently tone your shopsoiled membranes. Worked into the song, if possible.

    • Jenny

      My husband’s theory “so, what….does it just swell your vag?”

      As cringeworthy as that is, he may be on to something. How else could the cream/salve/balm work?

      Oh, and no thanks on the feeling like a virgin thing again. If anyone says their first time was also their best ever I’ll run up and down the streets of my neighborhood in a cheetah-print morph suit singing Lady Marmalade.

  • Randi

    I didn’t know my 24 year old vag was so cavernous and unsatisfying, and that I would like to relive my AWFUL first time! Thanks for letting me know, India!

  • Tom

    My guess is that a few Indian men (the several actors with the last name Khan come to mind) have gigantic dongs and are deflowering the entire nation’s young women. Because of this, the rest of the population is pitching a samosa down the veritable Taj Mahal-way. As a result of our unwillingness to export Enzyte to the eastern hemisphere, Indian men had to do something. There is only so far that the Kama Sutra will get a fella. Or, if skin whitening cream is any indicator, Indian advertisers are just as good as ours at making people feel wholly (heh) inadequate with what genetics has given them.

  • Amit

    FUCKIN Indians!

  • Jack Meehoof

    I can’t wait for the friggin hindus to come out with an anal-tightening cream…all the slumdogs can use that one each other…sick…F-ing sick people..