• Mon, Aug 13 2012

It’s National Butt Sex Month! Now Reach For Some Lube And Give It A Try.

What I’m gathering from both friends and the Internets is that August is Anal Sex Month. This of course means you need to run to the closest sex shop in your town to load up on butt plugs, anal beads and obviously buckets and buckets of lube so you can sit down again when September finally arrives. It’s practically a month-long holiday, so to go along your life without participating at least once is wrong. It is your obligation to engage in all holidays that have ever been created or the earth will cease to spin on its axis and off into the universe we will all fly.

Mock ads and mock history tell us that Anal Sex Month has been around since 1927! The “concept” was started so women could keep their virginity in place without totally being prudes. Who the hell wants you if you have a broken hymen? NO ONE. So if you want to get your fella off then bend over and spread your bum cheeks instead, ladies. “Give in to Haste and Remain Chaste!”

If you’ve never tried butt sex, but have always wanted to then maybe Anal Sex Month is the perfect time to do so. It may be taboo in some circles and condemned by a lot of religions, but if it’s going to give you a pleasure you’ve never known, you’re a fool to not try it at least once. Granted, you may try it and hate it, but the point is you’ll never know until you do it.

 

Photo: DailyProbe

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  • Maggie

    Is that ad for Bung Balm real?! Regardless, it’s hilarious.

    • Amanda Chatel

      I’m pretty sure it’s a mock ad, but isn’t it great?

  • lucygoosey74

    I once knew a group of gals that wanted to keep their virginity for religious reasons, but apparently God dosen’t care if you take it up the ass. These ladies would brag that they were virgins because they only took it up the poop shoot.

    • Jenny

      The poop shoot is the devil’s vagina. It doesn’t count. Not like the holy, godly vagina from whence babes spring….

  • Lo

    And just where are the photos of strap-ons, hm? Even assuming that this is a straight two-person relationship, there is more than one anus. There are two. Count ‘em. Two. Use all the anuses.

    • Amanda Chatel

      Good point. Let’s just pretend that the non-existent slide #7 is delegated to strap-ons.

  • Tania

    While I’m not a fan of the idea, I would be willing to try anal on the condition that he gets it first with something of equivalent size and girth. Fair is fair, and there is as much chance he’ll enjoy it as I will.

    Possibly more, as my family members (mother/grandmother/sister/cousin (yeah, we’re a communicative family)) have all said it hurts. Possibly we have a genetic disposition to small sphincters.

  • Jenny

    I was going to post to ask what the hell the first picture was. Then I was afraid it would be some obvious answer and you would all think I was an idiot.

    Bless you, Chatel, for the photo credit.

    Most importantly, bless you Etsy for “Squeaky Clean Enema Pin, Brooch”. I know what my step-brother is getting for Christmas.