Well world, it’s finally happened — Jennifer Aniston, who has remained unmarried ever since getting her heart publicly ripped out, mangled, thrown on the ground and murdered by Brad Pitt, is now engaged to Justin Theroux.
So what does it mean? Well, for one thing, a whole subculture of women who maniacally salivate over gossip magazines in the check-out line (guilty as charged) just so they can experience fleeting moments of schadenfraude when celebrities’ lives dive bomb directly into the ground (not guilty, I like to think) will now have to pretend to be happy for her.
But also, it also means that we can talk a lot about marriage, and divorce, and waiting for the right dude or lady, and getting married after having already been married, and of course whether Brad Pitt is really sad now or whether he’s really happy for Jen (no doubt reports will be conflicting).
I guess that the one thing I feel — thanks for asking! — is that I wonder whether it’s real, as I do with all celebrity marriages, but more than that, I can’t imagine for the life of me what it would be like to have to pick a new man knowing that the world will be comparing him to Brad fucking Pitt, and scrutinizing whether you’re as happy as you once were, and then suddenly deciding to write more about Angelina Jolie, your nemesis.
I also wonder how much the pressure of constantly being on the covers of magazines for being single influenced her decision to get engaged (that’s assuming it’s real, let’s just go with it for a moment), and if, because of all that pressure, she could really ever be free to find a person who makes her truly happy.
I don’t know. I just worry about JenAn. How do you feel?