Look out, vajazzling. Step aside, brazilian waxes. There’s a stupid new beauty treatment in town, and it dwarfs you in both pain and ridiculousness. I’m talking, of course, about anal tattoos.
Okay, so maybe it’s not really a trend yet, but with representatives like this, who could resist? At the 17th Annual South Florida Tattoo Expo, one plucky young woman could be seen publicly extolling the virtues of anal tattoos as she got one in front of everyone so they wouldn’t be scared. A modern day hero.
“My first tattoo, I was 17 years old, and I had a friend of mine pretend she was my mom so I could get a fairy on my back,” she explained to The New Times Broward Palm Beach in between shots of booze. “The fairy on my back is crawled [sic.] in a ball with broken wings and she’s pulling her fucking hair.” Only in Florida.
What style of anal tattoo you get, of course, is up to you, but she uses hers to honor the special men in her life:
“I had two guys’ names on it.”
But what about the pain factor, Miss Florida? Doesn’t it hurt to get a needle stuck in your butt hundreds of times?
“Dude, it feels so fucking goodâ€¦so good.”
Well okay, then. I’m sold. Sign me up!
When reached for comment, my tattoo artist friend said that anal tattoos are not really her thing, but “if you’re going to get one, go to a good artist, I guess. And to each their own, I guess.” Also: “I don’t know how you’d keep it clean unless you don’t shit for a week.” A ringing endorsement, and some sound advice to boot.