As we all know, women need stuff marketed specifically toward them. How else would we guess a bestselling new book is for us if it weren’t for that lipstick kiss on the cover?
…Unfortunately, for a long time, firearms have been the exclusive dominion of men. There haven’t been any products that speak to our unique lady needs (spinning classes and probiotic yogurt, mostly). Have you ever tried tucking a pistol into the small of your back while wearing fucking capri pants? Even the cutest little 9mm is going to look like a damn tumor.
Thankfully, Flashbang Holsters is here to help. The company makes discreet, sexy holsters that won’t cause unsightly lumps and bumps under all the latest fashions. Though they offer several styles (one that goes with your favorite pair of lowrise jeans!), the namesake product–the Flashbang Holster–actually rests beneath/between your breasts, so you can (conveniently?) lift your shirt and fire. Finally, you can pack heat and preserve your silhouette. Also, there’s a few dozen Sarah Palin jokes in here, you can suss ‘em out yourself.
Please watch the video immediately. The phrase, “I call this my ‘yoga pants’ holster,” is used.