Were you excited about the new pizza Cinnabon? The “pizzabon?” Described as “a savory version of the famous, sizeable Cinnabon circle with melted cheese, pepperoni, and tomato sauce.” It sounds really exciting, if you like things that are disgusting, which I do. Well, fellow disgusting food lovers, be excited no more.
It turns out that – in a completely real, relevant controversy that will no doubt be covered on The Newsroom two years from now with cinematic music in the background – the pizza in the oft-advertised “pizza-bon” is on top. Only on top. Not inside. I suppose they never said it was supposed to be inside, but we all thought it was going to be inside. Everyone thought that, Cinnabon. Everyone. Why did you lie to us?
To illustrate why this is wrong, our friend Julie at TheFrisky drew you a picture:
So, your life is ruined now. Why don’t you just go drink duck’s blood, like Sisi? Just give up everything. Seriously.
Also, let’s write angry letters to someone. I don’t know who. God, I guess. Fuck God. I’m going out for pizza that I plan to roll up to look like a bun.