• Thu, Aug 16 2012

By The Way, Kristen Stewart Is A Grown Adult

Kristen StewartI have a lot of sympathy for Kristen Stewart at the moment. I think it sucks that her personal flirtations with an older, married man are being tossed around in the press and blown into some huge, horrible ordeal. In general, I think it’s obnoxious that anyone feels like her private relationships should play a part in her professional career, which random news outlets have been dooming in the past week. By the way, how is not being in Snow White & The Huntsmen 2 a bad thing? Personally, I think it’s about time that we all hop off the K-Stew slamming bandwagon and find another thing to be outraged at.

But there’s just one bit of business I’d like to clear up before we say goodbye to Twilight-turned-reality forever. There’s one bit of this whole cheating nonsense that has gotten under my skin. It has nothing to do with Stewart or her response. It has nothing to do with all the “Poor Robert Pattinson” sympathy stories. But those are getting overdone too, guys. I’d just like to clear one little thing about this whole mess up. Kristen Stewart is a fucking adult.

In the backlash to the backlash on Stewart, a whole lot of people have been standing up to support the actress. Jodie Foster shamed the world for ruining people’s childhoods, all while supporting her Panic Room co-star. Jezebel recounted the many possible affairs of pity party Robert Pattinson. Mediate weighed in on the “colonial-era slut-shaming.” The Gloss‘s own Editor-In-Chief Jennifer Wright asked “Why Is Kristen Stewart Apologizing?” And each defense mentions this little thing about Kristen Stewart’s age. She’s 22.

The overall impression is that a 22-year-old is just a big child, one who should be expected to make mistakes without much consequence. She can’t be held accountable for making a mature decision! She’s only 22-years-old! 

I don’t know how to break it to everyone, but 22-years-old is still a legal adult. They can vote. They can drink alcohol. And they can make life choices that have a lasting impact on their careers or personal relationships. Kristen Stewart owned a home with her boyfriend. They lived together. She was making big-girl decisions long before she dry-humped a married man.

I’m not saying that 22-year-olds can’t make mistakes, or that they shouldn’t be forgiven for those mistakes. But I think it’s intensely condescending to act like we’re talking about a child here.

22-year-olds make life-changing decisions all the time. I had a child at 22-years-old. My life was forever changed, fortunately in a very positive way. But that was a responsibility that I took on at the exact same age as poor Kristen Stewart. I got to be a grown-up and deal with the fact that I was pregnant. A friend of mine went through a tough time in college after a difficult personal experience. At 20-years-old, she failed out of her scholarship and got a DUI. She spent the next several years putting her life back together, but those choices significantly impacted her life and where it went from there. For one thing, she’ll have a criminal record for the rest of her life. Choices you make in your early 20s are still adult choices that you have to be responsible for.

Kristen Stewart is not a child. She is an adult. She made an adult choice to make out with another adult in public. She now faces adult consequences. Now, I’m happy to debate what the severity of those consequences should be. In my book, absolutely nothing that has to do with the viewing public whatsoever. It doesn’t need to be our business. But I won’t sit here and pretend that she shouldn’t be held accountable for anything because she’s too young to understand her own actions. That’s ridiculous, and it’s insulting to every 22-year-old who has the sense to behave maturely.

(Photo: WENN.com)

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  • Cee

    Whole heartedly agree.

    I also don’t think she should be slut shamed or called a homewrecker, that took two people. But, yes at 22 she knows when a man is taken and that it would be awful shitty to pursue or accept the advances of a married man. If she was such a child that did not know that it was wrong, why did she drop him off a little aways from his wife and children’s home?

    Also, I don’t like the excuse that Rob was “just her boyfriend” by many articles written by women. These are the same women who would probably blast their “just a boyfriend” or Rob (had the role been reversed) for cheating. I mean, are long/short term commitments without wedding vows free of not giving a shit or respecting the person you are with?

    • meteor_echo

      Thisity this this.
      I fucking hate the “just a boyfriend” excuse: a piece of paper with a stamp on it does not make a relationship somehow sacral or magical. I’d take a bullet for my boyfriend, and he’d do the same for me, so, whenever I see people using this particular excuse, I feel a mixture of pity/annoyance towards them.

  • Samantha

    Thank you! I agree a million times!

    I’m twenty-three, and I’ve been working and financially independent for nearly three years now. I live with my boyfriend, and I work with older, more powerful men in the entertainment industry. Aside from paycheck and publicity, my life, on paper, isn’t that different from Kristen Stewart’s. She acted a fool, and it’s a discredit to anyone in their twenties to treat her like a dumb kid. We’re grown, and if we can make a decision to vote or drink or (in CA) smoke medical marijuana, we can manage our love-lives. She made an adult-sized mistake with hers, and while I think a lot of the consequences (effecting her job prospects, really!?) are totally unfair, the fact is, she knew better, and she made a choice.

  • Sabrina

    I think the point of mentioning her age (at least in the articles I’ve read) is that people were trying to bring to attention the fact that Rob is pretty much her “high school boyfriend.” Thinking back on my dating life at 22, I had just broken up with pretty much the first real boyfriend I had ever had, who I dated for 5 years, starting in high school and continuing into college. Did we know anything about being in a mature relationship? Hell to the no. Have I learned an insane amount about being in a mature relationship between the ages of 22 to 25? Hell to the yes.

    I do completely agree that at 22 you are an adult. Of course you are. But I also think it’s reasonable to take into consideration that in this day and age, 22 is still a “young” age in regards to relationship maturity. While sure, some of us might have been married young, around that age or younger, for a large chunk of 22 year olds out there, we might have just had one or two relationships and are still operating at the levels of delayed adulthood.

    • Vanessa Vieira

      Yes, for some people 22 may still be a ‘young’ age in regards to relationship maturity, but not ‘young’ in regards to common sense (especially for a woman who has been in the entertainment industry since childhood and has in no way been sheltered). That’s totally 100% fine if she does not see herself in the future with the man she’s currently dating at 22. That’s completely okay if she knows she’d like to experience other relationships before she ‘settles down.’ But for goodness’ sake, have the decency to end the relationship before you go an explore other men. And I’m not even going to touch upon the fact that the other man was married. Seriously, what is it with people these days? Break up with your damn boyfriend before you hook up with someone else. I hate when people say, ‘it’s not that easy’ – um, yes…it’s pretty fucking easy. If you at all feel the desire to act upon temptations, then you obviously should not be with your current boyfriend. Sorry to break it to you, but you can’t have the best of both worlds. And if you claim to ‘care’ for the person you are about to cheat on, why the hell wouldn’t you have the respect to break up with them first? That’s a hell of a lot less humiliating. Ugh these weak, weak people.

    • Sabrina

      As someone who has been cheated on (twice), yeah, cheating sucks. I am not supporting her actions. And it is a shitty, shitty, thing to do to someone. But I don’t really get why everyone acts so shocked at cheating. Pretty sure affairs have been going on since the dawn of time, I don’t really think it has anything to do with “people these days.” But yeah, sucks to be cheated on, and sucks to have the person you thought cared about you treat you that way.

      P.S. Where is Rupert Sanders in all of this? Why have most articles just been aimed at Kristen? Why is it that he still gets to direct the snow white 2 movie, but she doesn’t get to star in it? If there’s anything extremely shitty about all of this, I think that tops it all. She was 22 and had a boyfriend, sure, but he is married! Shouldn’t he be getting called out a little heavier than she is?! They took fucking vows for goodness sakes.

  • Whofreakincaresaboutthiscrap

    I don’t know either party and who knows what went on in their relationship, or if Rob is even a straight man. 22 is grown enough to know better, the married man is certainly responsible as well. Plus, child actors usually grow up really fast – just look at Mac Culkin & the Olsen twins. So it isn’t like Kristin is just a naive lil thang. I guess there was just a mutual attraction and they both acted on it wrongly.