Goodbye cruel world. That’s what I imagine thousands of red soles are saying at this very moment.
US Customs and Border Patrol confiscated over 20,000 pairs of fake Christian Louboutin heels that were shipped to the United States from China. Considering that the designer footwear is made in Italy, the shipments caught the attention of those clever investigators. Now, the fakes will be destroyed and thousands of perfectly cheap knock-offs will go up in a cloud of smoke.
The shoes, which apparently cost all of $3 to make, would’ve sold for a staggering $18 million at Louboutin retail values.
While I understand the need to keep counterfeit products off the market, I still feel like there’s better uses for 20,000 pairs of shoes. Couldn’t the authorities have gotten creative here? Here’s what they should’ve done with all that footwear.
1) Give them to me.
2) Donate them to a pre-school for high-end art projects. Beats the hell out of egg crates and styrofoam. You could make the next Tyler Shields.
3) Give them to me.
4) Use the shoes as adorable little planters and create a shoe garden.
5) Give them to me.
6) Give them to TOMS.
7) Give them to me.
8) Stiletto self-defense classes for women.
9) Give them to me.
10) Give them to anyone who has spent thousands of dollars on real Louboutins. You know, as back-ups.
(Photo: Huffington Post)