• Mon, Aug 20 2012

Harlotry: I Auditioned For Fetish Porn & Ended Up Getting Harassed By A Total Creep

I waited an entire hour before replying that I thought he had possibly texted the wrong person. He asked if I was ‘Kathryn’, and when I told him my name wasn’t spelled with a K he ignored me and launched into a poorly-spelled, completely unpunctuated spiel about how he would love to “serve” me. I did not know what to say. I was deeply disappointed that my once-promising adult film career had crumbled before my eyes, ashamed that I hadn’t seen the obvious warning signs, disgusted at Mr. Producer’s behavior, and worried that there had never been any other girls screen-testing that day, that I was the only one… and that he had decided to make me and only me the object of his obsession.

I had enough experience with weirdos–especially submissive weirdos–that I knew lashing out with cruelty would only make Mr. Producer more interested, but I wasn’t sure if ignoring him was the way to go either. So, I sent a short reply stating that I was sorry he’d decided to conduct himself in such an unprofessional manner, but I absolutely could not work with him in any capacity after this exchange, that I had a boyfriend and I had no interest in him being anything but a producer or director. He didn’t protest and, mercifully, stopped texting me.

I’ve made several attempts to find my supposed screen test, but to no avail. To this day I’m honestly not sure if I am naked on the internet (in anything but a still format). I picture a site full of videos of other girls like me, too naïve and excitable to recognize the shadiness of a one-man screen test or a room stacked with videocassettes labeled with names, dates, and fetishes depicted. I’ve never managed to locate either.

I look back on my aimless post-prostitution sex work career and this single job sticks out like a big question mark: I may not know if there was ever a website planned–or what happened to my spanking tape–but I hope that when I’m an old woman perusing the internet on a newfangled microchip implanted in my brain (or whatever they have in the future), I’ll stumble across it and be inspired to return to sex work. I don’t think that even former spanking superstardom could scandalize my grandchildren as much as granny porn.

Cathryn Berarovich is a bit of a renaissance sex worker; she’s currently employed as a stripper (and writer) but has held numerous interesting jobs in the industry. Each week, she shares her stories in Harlotry.

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  • Andrea

    I always find these articles in a strange way both equally disturbing and entertaining.. but this had me especially confounded in that you described the “…degradation of your average minimum wage job” and then continued to be spanked by a strange man you met on Craigslist. I suppose just shows how different we all really are.. to each her own :)

    • Libby

      I had the same reaction.

  • eileenaroone

    Get out! Men who advertise for fetish porn models are usually so charming. I’m sorry yours was not.

  • Lauren L.

    If this was around 2010, I would say the “YOU GONNA GET RAPED!” video would have been appropriate, good lord, you should have brought an escort (no puns) with you at least. Glad nothing bad happened to you, though!

  • Naomi

    I’ve worked in the adult industry (mostly on the fetishy side) and I’ve worked as a waitress and in corporate America. I can say for myself, the fetish work was far less personally degrading.