How To Tell If You've Been Legitimately Raped

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Were you wearing a burkha or (preferably) the Christian equivalent of one?

Are you anything but straight/white/female/cisgender/neurotypical/able bodied?

Did it involve anything other than a man forcing his penis into your vagina, with you actively fighting him the whole time?

Are you a stripper or a sex worker of any kind?

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Was it statutory rape?

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Subtract five points because 13-year-olds shouldn't dress like that.

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Were you wearing a burkha or (preferably) the Christian equivalent of one?

If not, subtract five points, you sexually available hussy.

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Did you get pregnant afterwards?

Subtract five points for failing to shut the whole thing down.

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Are you poor and/or an immigrant?

Subtract ten points because you're clearly trying to use this situation to get more taxpayer money to spend on fattening foods, soda, and crack.

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Was it statutory rape?

Subtract five points because 13-year-olds shouldn't dress like that.

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Had you been drinking?

Subtract one million points, because that is basically like writing "RAPE ME" in big, neon letters across your forehead.

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Are you anything but straight/white/female/cisgender/neurotypical/able bodied?

Subtract five points for each because I don't understand anything about this.

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Did it involve anything other than a man forcing his penis into your vagina, with you actively fighting him the whole time?

Subtract ten points because that's a grey area, really.

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Are you a stripper or a sex worker of any kind?

Subtract ten points because you have basically consented to all sex with all people already.

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Do you practice BDSM?

Subtract ten points because you almost definitely liked it.

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Jenniwren

You forgot: “had you ever previously had any sort of sexual contact with your rapist?” Seriously, I met one guy who just COULD NOT get his head around the idea that you don’t automatically get everlasting visitation rights to a vagina you’d previously been invited into. He just kept saying “But if she’s already slept with him once, what’s the problem?” Ughhhhhh….
- Suriah
  
  I’d say that’s pretty flawless logic… and now we can add marital rape to list list of silly things women make up with their silly lady brains!
Sam

Guh, I was literally just discussing with somebody whether it was “legally” rape to have sex with somebody when you’re sober and they’re too drunk to consent. It bums me out that these discussions are still, well, discussions and not simply “rape is fucking rape,” for goodness’ sake.
Nancy

Loved this!
Ashley Cardiff

A+
TSG

LOVE this!!!!
Barrie Rodliffe

Rape is forced sex against the victims will, nothing excuses that, certainly not the past and if a girl is too drunk to say no it is still rape, and rapists are losers who rape girls because they are inadequate and need to use force to make themselves feel powerful.
K

I luv how you put “You’re welcome!” at the end of these helpful articles because you’re prescient enough to know that my thank you is definitely on it’s way!!! When will the blatant & obvious disdain for woman, that so many willfully ignorant men hold, stop? Probably not till they’ve satisfactorily put back the hands of time to a hundred years or more where we were obviously more controllable.

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Gallery: How To Tell If You’ve Been Legitimately Raped