• Thu, Aug 23 2012

Speaking Of My So-Called Life: As An Adult, Would You Go For Jordan Catalano Or Brian Krakow?

Ever since I saw that ghastly (a very appropriate word choice a commenter used) movie Bachelorette, I can’t get it out of my head. It’s like when you decide at 4am to get food from a taco truck you’ve never tried before and you spend the next three days sick and asking yourself: “Why didn’t I just avoid it?!” It’s like that, but worse.

The one part I have been mulling over with a wee bit of glee is the discussion the characters have about Jordan Catalano and Brian Krakow from My So-Called Life. Even if you weren’t in junior high or high school when it originally aired, MTV picked it up a few years later. So unless you’re 10 or 12 right now, you should be well aware of the show and what it means when someone drops those two names.

In high school, my Jordan Catalano was a fella named Michael Collins, and similar to Angela Chase, although we’ll never know for sure because the show was cut short, I never got my Jordan. However, that hasn’t stopped me from looking for him in every guy I meet. Sure, Jordan could barely read, he was in a band with a lead singer that no one ever saw (Tino!), he writes songs about his damn car, he thinks Brian’s name is pronounced “Brain,” fucks Rayanne and he wants to be one of those guys “up in the mountain who make snow.” I don’t care how hot he is or how well he leans against a fucking locker, that shit should be over and done with by the time you reach 24. Once again, I did not get the memo.

Krakow, on the other handed, is completely devoted to Angela Chase. He throws anyone aside for her (not so great if you’re the someone else), saves her ass time and time again, is always hanging around which comes in handy when you’re spending 80% of your days trying to make Angela’s life easier, and in the one episode where he actually does the narration, you get a glimpse into his fragile heart and the huge effect that just the smell of Angela’s hair has on him. In high school, he didn’t have a chance in hell, but what about now? At what point do we realize that Jordan Catalano is on a train directly to nowhere… or more specifically Mars?

During a phone session with my therapist last night — she’s still on maternity leave — this topic came up. And despite my rocky past with relationships, recently learning about the flasher and the new knowledge that my first love was arrested for drugs on his way to Chattanooga two weeks ago, it’s clear that I’ve yet to shake the Catalanos from my life. I just love myself an adorable wounded bird.

Brian Krakow? Are you out there? Please make yourself visible, because I apparently have bad eye sight and will go for the first Catalano who stands between us. Anyone else feel the same, or has at least someone joined team Krakow by now?

Before we take our poll, let’s check out this clip as a reminder:

Sorry! This poll is now closed.

 

Photo: ABC

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  • Ms. Pants

    but…. but….. Krakow raped that chick on Felicity and Jordan banged Paris Hilton in a hallway.

    • Amanda Chatel

      I DIDN’T WATCH FELICITY AND I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THE OTHER. I NEED TO BUY A TURKEY SWEATER NOW.

    • Ms. Pants

      PUT A BIRD ON TITS.

      bagock y’all.

    • a.tizz

      And in my head, with that rape, he forever went from being Krakow to Pink Shirt Guy. Screw ‘em both. I CHOOSE ME!

    • Ms. Pants

      DONNA MARTIN GRADUATES!!!!

  • Katie

    I dated a Jordan Catalano in high school, and a few after, but am now in an amazing relationship with what I would imagine a grown up Brian krakow would be like. The Catalanos were fun, and messy, at the time, but I think when it comes time for a legitimate relationship, Krakow is where it’s at.

  • Trista

    I always thought Brian was adorable. If I had a Brian Krakow in my life during high school, I like to think I would have dated him. (I didn’t date anyone in high school) My boyfriend now is definitely a Brian and he has been infinitely better for me than all the Jordans and other types that came before. Go Team Brian!

  • Lindsay

    Jordan Catalano FOREVER! There is no question. I’m almost 27, but have no desire to marry or have kids, so I’m allowed to only date Catalanos. Right? I met Jordan Catalano (Jared Leto, whatever) several years ago at a 30 Seconds to Mars show and some awesome man yelled, “30 SECONDS TO MY SO CALLED LIFE!!” right as he walked on stage. It was perfect. Jordan/Jared was very angry. haha

  • tl

    One thing I got out of that show is always be the Jordan and never the Angela. I was always one of those girls (like Angela) that was 100% obsessed with a guy and devoted my entire frickin life to him, where the object of my obsession barely knew I existed. I envied the way Jordan was so nonchalant about her, and I wondered, is that how all guys are? And so I tried to take my crushing down a notch….and only devote 90% to them instead of 100%. In a sick and twisted way, I loved that tortured feeling of chasing a guy like that.

    P.S. I know it was the 90s, but why did they dress Angela so hokey? They should have gothed her up a little bit, in a 90s kind of way (you know, more goodwill than hot topic). Oh, and while I’m P.S.-ing….I wish she would have screwed the shit out of him. I was so mad that she wouldn’t even though I hadn’t at the time either.