Why Women Don’t Want To Sleep With Mitt Romney

Women don’t just want to sleep with guys who are rich and powerful. Women want to sleep with guys who are comfortable in their own skin.  I think this is true for people of both genders (and believe me, as a figet-y, type A person I sincerely wish that were not the case). It may not be fair to want to sleep with people who seem fluid and comfortable, but we do, whether it’s fair or not. And it’s a shame because there’s not much stiff types can do about the way they carry themselves – remember when poor Al Gore or John Kerry tried to adopt cooler mannerisms? It only deprived them of the gravitas which might have been their appeal.

Having money and power can do a lot in terms of making people seem slightly more comfortable, mostly because they will likely be less stressed about being poor and under-appreciated, but clearly, in Mitt’s case, it can’t do everything.

And Obama just seems so, well, cool. I mean, look at this, look at his cool little smile at Ellen, look at how he waves kind of casually, and compare it to watching Romney lurch about:

Sure, women want money and power, but they also want men who seem like they are not taking themselves seriously every second of every day. And I think Mitt does seem to take himself very seriously. I think that’s his personality, and I think that was probably very helpful to be a serious minded person when he was running Bain. I do not think this is a bad thing. I think it is a good thing for the head of a corporation to be pretty serious, but that does not make women want to sleep with you.

This is what women mean when they say they want a man with a sense of humor. They mean they want someone who seems comfortable with themselves. And its become a joke how bad Mitt Romney is at making jokes. He always looks as though he is trying to force himself to be whimsical. And it always makes me feel uncomfortable, as though I have pulled my uncle out of a board meeting and forced him to do a stand-up comedy routine. I think it makes everyone involved feel bad.

Not that I think this is a problem for him, because I think Mitt has a really happy marriage. I don’t think Mitt needs – or wants – 100% of women to want to sleep with him. But when Ann Romney said that she was shocked that everyone couldn’t see how funny Mitt was, I thought “wow, she must really love him.”

And that is why Mitt Romney will not get 100% of the female vote. Because he keeps moving and saying things that seem to indicate that, while not a Kenyan socialist, he is a recent visitor to our planet who learned human via Rosetta Stone.

That, and I think the Mormon underwear just presents its own set of fantasy hurdles.

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    • Maggie

      Women also shouldn’t want to sleep with him because his policies, and the policies he endorses, clearly indicate that he doesn’t give a fuck about women, or our health. I find him absolutely repulsive in every sense of the word.

    • 3000

      Women choose successful men? Hm. If this is the case, then I wonder why I married a poor cook… Oh wait, that’s right! I married him because he’s awesome and sexy and smart and nice and funny and cooks me delicious food and isn’t a right wing chauvinust Mormon d*ck like Romney.

      Fuck money and power, they just make you lose sight of the important things in life. Things like laughter, great sex, and yummy vegetarian pasta bakes <3

    • MR

      I’m sure Ann Romney is happy to hear you and most women feel that way about him too. :) And how did he do in his speech? I found this below awhile back on my Churchill quote to you on Ryan’s impact. Yeah, unfortunately Ryan’s not disappearing. Doesn’t matter Romney’s lack of charisma is their biggest problem. Below: Fall of France 1940, R.A.F. withdrawing back to Britain. I leave it to Jamie to translate the last scenes…..you said you liked Laurence Olivier, though definately a guy flick.