Women don’t just want to sleep with guys who are rich and powerful. Women want to sleep with guys who are comfortable in their own skin. I think this is true for people of both genders (and believe me, as a figet-y, type A person I sincerely wish that were not the case). It may not be fair to want to sleep with people who seem fluid and comfortable, but we do, whether it’s fair or not. And it’s a shame because there’s not much stiff types can do about the way they carry themselves – remember when poor Al Gore or John Kerry tried to adopt cooler mannerisms? It only deprived them of the gravitas which might have been their appeal.
Having money and power can do a lot in terms of making people seem slightly more comfortable, mostly because they will likely be less stressed about being poor and under-appreciated, but clearly, in Mitt’s case, it can’t do everything.
And Obama just seems so, well, cool. I mean, look at this, look at his cool little smile at Ellen, look at how he waves kind of casually, and compare it to watching Romney lurch about:
Sure, women want money and power, but they also want men who seem like they are not taking themselves seriously every second of every day. And I think Mitt does seem to take himself very seriously. I think that’s his personality, and I think that was probably very helpful to be a serious minded person when he was running Bain. I do not think this is a bad thing. I think it is a good thing for the head of a corporation to be pretty serious, but that does not make women want to sleep with you.
This is what women mean when they say they want a man with a sense of humor. They mean they want someone who seems comfortable with themselves. And its become a joke how bad Mitt Romney is at making jokes. He always looks as though he is trying to force himself to be whimsical. And it always makes me feel uncomfortable, as though I have pulled my uncle out of a board meeting and forced him to do a stand-up comedy routine. I think it makes everyone involved feel bad.
Not that I think this is a problem for him, because I think Mitt has a really happy marriage. I don’t think Mitt needs – or wants – 100% of women to want to sleep with him. But when Ann Romney said that she was shocked that everyone couldn’t see how funny Mitt was, I thought “wow, she must really love him.”
And that is why Mitt Romney will not get 100% of the female vote. Because he keeps moving and saying things that seem to indicate that, while not a Kenyan socialist, he is a recent visitor to our planet who learned human via Rosetta Stone.
That, and I think the Mormon underwear just presents its own set of fantasy hurdles.