Hugh Hefner Stops Motorboating Boobs Long Enough To Pen Moving Editorial On Marriage Equality

The other day, Hugh Hefner took a break from motorboating blonde ladies’ boobies and having baby oil orgies while Matlock plays in the background to write what is actually a pretty good editorial in favor of marriage equality for LGBT Americans. I’m sure he worked with an editor on it, but I think it shows he still has some sense rattling around in that greying head of his, despite all the concussions his constant motorboating has given him.

The whole thing is worth reading if you feel like getting a pep talk on marriage equality from Hugh Hefner, but I especially like the end:

Nearly 50 years ago in the pages of this magazine I warned that “when religion rather than reason dictates legislation, do not expect logic with your law.” Today, in every instance of sexual rights falling under attack, you’ll find legislation forced into place by people who practice discrimination disguised as religious freedom. Their goal is to dehumanize everyone’s sexuality and reduce us to using sex for the sole purpose of perpetuating our species. To that end, they will criminalize your entire sex life.

This is a religious nation, but it is also a secular one. For decades the American people have found a way to balance religious beliefs with secular freedoms. We have enjoyed freedom of religion as well as freedom from religion. These need not be incompatible. No one should have to subjugate their religious freedom, and no one should have their personal freedoms infringed. This is America and we must protect the rights of all Americans.

As much as I like to give Hef the side eye for having an interpretation of sexual freedom that looks an awful lot like the regular old patriarchy, the point is that in a truly free society, there’s room for it all. I might think Hugh Hefner is gross for having a rotating cast of tiny, fake-titted, 20-year-old sex serfs living at his house, but I’m not lobbying to make laws against that. (I am lobbying to take away his primary mean$ of attraction, but that’s a story for another day.) And religious zealots might think guy-on-guy action is gross, but they’re not allowed to make laws that discriminate against the people who do that, either. Of all the things I think are wrong with America, freedom of and/or from religion isn’t one of them. Which means I have to agree with Mr. Playboy, here.

(Via Playboy)

Photo: WENN

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    • Brianna

      “I might think Hugh Hefner is gross for having a rotating cast of tiny, fake-titted, 20-year-old sex serfs living at his house…”
      I love that line :)