It’s not anti-feminist to show vulnerability
You should not pretend to be stupid to attract a man. But it’s actually a good idea to share at least one thing you’re bad at. This goes for men as well, which is why I can stand by this advice.
While many competent women are like, “Well, I need a man for love and sex! I’m not an island. I have unfulfilled needs!”, for many men, your strictly relationship-related needs are not real and tangible enough for those men to feel needed. They need you to need them to do something.
Don’t make things up. But most of us need a ride somewhere or have a leaky faucet or received a weird appliance as a gift and never bothered to set it up, or always thought it might be fun to learn to play racquetball, or just hate chopping onions and want someone else to do it, forever.
Personally, while I demand that any man of mine be able to drive long distances, I am also attracted to men who can barely feed themselves – like, without me, it’s Cocoa Puffs and marijuana for dinner. Then I step in and I’m all like, “Yes, you CAN make scallops in your very own home! The yellow stuff is polenta. It is made of corn. I know corn is not from Italy. I don’t know where the Italians got ahold of corn. Why yes, I did whip that butter myself.” (Please try to even say “Why yes, I did whip that butter myself” in a non-sexy way. Try.)
For every two or three things you say that could come across as braggy, throw in something at which you’re a bit hopeless. Why? Because people need each other. That’s not being a bimbo. That’s human.
Some men really are turned off by competence and emotional health.
Some men want a manic pixie dream girl. The more competent you are, the more you remind them of their mom, and thus the more they are turned off.
There’s just nothing you can do about this. You can be super awesome and confident and nice and even beautiful, and yet there are some men who will think you’re a good role model, or they’d like to marry someone like you when they finally settle down, but they really don’t want to fuck any of those things. A lot of men want to fuck a twenty-two year old drunken runaway with daddy issues. This type of man is surprisingly not that bothered by middle-of-the-night phone calls regarding the fact that such a woman is having a breakdown, presently located in a gutter, or feels incapable of leaving her own home without assistance and needs a sandwich, some Jagermeister, and someone to cry on about the aforementioned daddy issues.
Think of these men like your gay friends – they can like you a lot, but it’s just not going to go anywhere. Their sexual orientation just doesn’t include you. In fact, it’s as though the more you have in common with these men, the less sexual the whole thing is for them, because they just want to put their penis in a mascara-smudged, self-destructive mess.
Some of these men feel guilty about their sexual preferences and sort of feel like they should like some other kind of woman. But they don’t. You don’t want one of these men anyway, no more than you would want an ex-gay (as in, “converted” by a Christian ministry!) husband who was trying very, very hard to pretend to be heterosexual.
Maybe you could avoid these men by mentioning in your profile that you’re “emotionally healthy” and “stable.”