Why Are Paul Ryan’s Suits So Big?

Paul Ryan spoke at the Republican National Convention last night and told a whole bunch of lies–even FOX News called it an “apparent attempt to set the world record for the greatest number of blatant lies and misrepresentations slipped into a single political speech”–but it was delivered in a very rousing way, so it’s a wash. Anyway, some fashion writers have noticed that the vice presidential candidate was still swimming in his suit, despite widespread criticism that he looks like a child playing dress-up in his father’s closet or a less cool David Byrne.

We were out with friends the other night and one went so far as to speculate it’s an allusion to an Ayn Rand character, whose measurements are named in Atlas Shrugged, and that Ryan wears his suits bigger and longer as a sartorial homage to objectivism. We find this hypothesis endearingly preposterous but we’d love to know from anyone who hasn’t blocked out that book if there are, in fact, measurements given.

Now, whenever we cover fashion and beauty in politics, we inevitably get a chorus of comments like, “Do you people listen to yourselves or do you just like to spew? Our country has real problems here. Let’s focus on the real issues and cut the crap. Grow the hell up and quit being absolute idiots.” This is where we’ll take an opportunity to remind you–though we are too often tasked with doing so–that this is a fucking fashion and beauty site. Albiet one run by lunatics.

So, back to focusing on the thing we’re supposed to focus on her at TheGloss: why can’t Paul Ryan find a suit that fits?

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    • Jennifer Wright

      Following Ayn Rand’s advice, Paul Ryan stole this suit off a homeless giant. That homeless giant was a slave and a freeloader.

    • Sarah!

      He probably buys Magnums too.

      “I NEED THE EXTRA ROOM.”

      • Sugar

        Condoms are for devil worshipping sluts and minorities. Gross.