• Fri, Aug 31 2012

Why Do We Hate The Overweight?

beth ditto overweight obese love hate

This week, in a particularly ridiculous moment, a Boston doctor decided that she would not treat patients over 200 pounds. She suggested that they should, instead, be sent to treatment centers. Meanwhile, Harvard professors think Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move” program doesn’t go far enough and people should be legally required to exercise (this sentiment was apparently followed up by enthusiastic applause. Some other governments have also been in favor of this).

These are not random people on the street who want to inform passing overweight women that they’re overweight (often by saying something sparkling like “you fat!”). They are not somewhat senile grandmothers in the grocery store who want to inform you that you don’t need all that food if you’re overweight. These are intelligent professionals. Yet, they seem about 3 martinis away from saying “you know, I just really hate fat people.”

We are a culture that seems, pretty in-arguably, to do everything possible to shame and deride anyone overweight. Which is funny, because 1/3 of us are obese (a whopping 42% of Americans are expected to be obese by 2030).

But why do we care? Okay, the doctor could be open to more malpractice lawsuits if she operates on unhealthy people. That kind of makes sense, though it does not make sense if your reason for becoming a doctor was “to serve possibly sick people” and not just “some people who seem in tip-top shape going in.” I suppose, an overweight population could cost us more in taxes on medicare, but we do choose to live here, and taxes – a portion of which will be used to support the other people who live here – go along with that.

I am not that concerned about those two things, and I think many other people are not daily concerned with them, either.

However, there is not a day of my life when I do not worry about my weight. I count out precisely 1,200 calories. I am convinced I am nowhere near skinny enough. I am convinced I will never be skinny enough. I just spent ten minutes debating whether or not to eat a piece of ice cream cake that was in the office. On one hand, it was my favorite flavor of ice cream cake, and you can’t just got into a store and buy ice cream cake anytime, so the opportunity doesn’t present itself more than once or twice a year. On the other hand, if my weight goes over a certain amount I feel a real and true fury at myself.

I thought about why I feel that fury for a second.

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  • lucygoosey74

    Thank you for a well written article. 3 years ago I finally found the drug that greatly helps my bipolar disorder. It’s the first durg in 15 years that has made an amazing impact on my quality of life.
    The downside is that it causes major weight gain.
    I went from an unhealthy (I was sick ALL THE TIME) size 1 to a size 9.
    I’ve never weighed so much in my entire life, and this really bothered me for a while, no matter what I did, the weight simply would not come off because this drug fucks with your metabolism in a really major way. I got so upset over this that I had my doctor put me on a different drug, and I. FUCKING. LOST. IT. I had to be hospitalized because my mania was so out of hand and the only thing I could do was go back on the fat drug.
    Would I like to lose 20 pounds? Yes. But I’ve decided that I’d rather be 20 pounds overweight than manic, dillusional, miserable, and suicidal.
    This drug has literally saved my life, so I don’t really give a flying fuck if my jeans are now a size 9, it’s way better than the alternative.

  • lucygoosey74

    Thank you for a well written article. 3 years ago I finally found the drug that greatly helps my bipolar disorder. It’s the first durg in 15 years that has made an amazing impact on my quality of life.
    The downside is that it causes major weight gain.
    I went from an unhealthy (I was sick ALL THE TIME) size 1 to a size 9.
    I’ve never weighed so much in my entire life, and this really bothered me for a while, no matter what I did, the weight simply would not come off because this drug fucks with your metabolism in a really major way. I got so upset over this that I had my doctor put me on a different drug, and I. FUCKING. LOST. IT. I had to be hospitalized because my mania was so out of hand and the only thing I could do was go back on the fat drug.
    Would I like to lose 20 pounds? Yes. But I’ve decided that I’d rather be 20 pounds overweight than manic, dillusional, miserable, and suicidal.
    This drug has literally saved my life, so I don’t really give a flying fuck if my jeans are now a size 9, it’s way better than the alternative.

  • Kristina

    Whoa. I mean, I know from experience that this will mean not so much to you, but for what it’s worth, I think you look pretty thin and very pretty in general, too!

    I think it’s brave you wrote this. Not like wow-you-didn’t-wear-makeup-today brave, like wow-you-just-threw-so-many-feelings-and-awesome-analyses-out-there brave. It makes me happy to read this because I think part of our issue as a society is that we don’t examine why we’re fat-shaming ourselves so much. But it also made me sad to read this because I’ve been there.

    Hell, I am there. Right now. I got a pumpernickel bagel with tofu cream cheese that I mostly scraped off for breakfast, ate 3/4 of it, and threw the rest away. I still think that is too much. And I will probably attempt to avoid eating until I have somehow deemed it appropriate with half-assed calorie math (usually over-estimating what I’ve eaten) and obsessive consideration of how much time since my last meal/snack.

    I’ve developed a rigidity bordering on obsession. I read every article about how to count calories, how many I need, what I can do to lose x pounds by x date. I know it’s a control thing. I also know I’m way more overweight than I’d like to be.

    And more overweight than you, Jennifer, which makes me angry and jealous of you in a weird way because I love your articles and think you seem like an awesome person, but you’re skinny and able to keep your calories down to 1200 a day.

    I read an article recently (I think in HuffPo? maybe?) about someone who did not have an eating disorder but wanted to. The obsession with not being able to have that kind of control over oneself. And I feel like that is SO MANY women (and I’m sure men, too). I feel like we need to all talk about this and think about this and analyze this. And, yeah, maybe just stop hating on ourselves and each other for weight issues that are, like you rightly said, totally unrelated to supposed health.

  • lucygoosey74

    I’m sorry about the double post..my computer is a dick.

  • Kimberly @ Twen-Teen

    “So, let’s please stop pretending that we are only criticizing overweight people because we want what is best for them. If this were true we’d also telling everyone who said that they “were tired” that it was really important to get a good 8 hours of sleep.”

    THANK YOU. If we were really, truly obsessed with health in this country, then all possibly health-damaging activities would be frowned upon the way eating McDonald’s is frowned upon. But they aren’t.

  • Jamie Peck

    It’s really nice to hear this coming from you, and I agree 100%.

  • endn

    yessssssss lay down the truth!

  • Fabel

    Everything you just wrote here is so true. I don’t count calories anymore, because I’ve figured out at a young age that it makes me obsessive, but I’m constantly thinking about my size & weight. I have an objectively nice body, but when people comment on it, I start worrying that the next time they see me, they’ll be able to detect any weight gain or discover my body isn’t as nice as they thought. It is ridiculous. And of course, you’re right, no one is actually concerned about the health of those who are overweight. I love the line about educated people being 3 martinis away from saying “you know what, I hate fat people.” It’s true–they have enough research & words in their head to make convincing arguments about health, but it is not about health at all.

  • Renee

    As someone who has been overweight her whole life, yes, this. It is horrible to be hated and discriminated against for just having this body. I was born this way, with a condition that makes it nigh impossible to lose weight and keep it off. I just don’t understand why people are so incapable of compassion. This isn’t actually a choice, anymore than race or sexual orientation is. But hating me, and other fat people, seems to be the last bastion of socially approved discrimination. All under the banner of “it’s for your own good”. And you know what? Making someone hate themselves is never, ever, in this or any universe, going to lead to something good happening.

    • lucygoosey74

      Right on, sista!! “Making someone hate themselves is never, ever, in this or any universe, giong to lead to something good happening” is the best thing I’ve heard all day!! Thank you for that!

  • porkchop

    1200 calories a day?? Holy crap. My self-control consists of limiting my trips to 5 Guys to the point that it doesn’t significantly reduce my lifespan.

    I’m naturally thin, which is not the same thing as having a good body. I’ve never been told by a store clerk that I have a good body. However, they are always nice to me because I look rich. It turns out that’s a lot less work than looking pretty.

    • Jennifer Wright

      I think it’s a little easy to fall into the specific-number-of-calorie thing in New York because everyplace that has, I think, more than 5 locations is required to list the calories in each item next to it on the menu. It’s a bit like a weight watchers utopia, but it will make you completely and utterly obsessive if you’re inclined that way.

  • MEB

    it wasn’t in Boston, it was in Worcester.

  • Lindsey

    I think ice cream cake is kind of gross. Like, I love the idea. But it’s usually good ice cream, but sub-par cake (frozen cake has the same texture as stale cake) and weird crisco frosting. Like, I’ll eat the ice cream and feel incredibly dissatisfied with the rest. I feel like it was invented for people who don’t like cake but aren’t man enough to just serve ice cream and cookies for their birthdays. I do like the ‘cake with a scoop of ice cream on the side’ combo, though.

    • Sarah!

      You’re making me hungry!

    • Jamie Peck

      I don’t eat them anymore, but Carvel’s chocolate ice cream cakes used to be my favorite. I especially liked the crunchy cookie bits. I wonder if there’s anyone out there who’ll make me a vegan ice cream cake…

  • Jaclyn

    I, too, think that you are very brave for putting this out there.

    As I am counting every calorie that passes my lips, I am simultaneously trying to pretend that I am not starving myself to be thin. I don’t want anyone else to know how hard I have to work to be accepted. I want people to think that I am naturally good ( and thin, and decent) enough, even as I feel that I am naturally none of those things. It’s isolating. We don’t share these feeling with one another because we are ashamed. This issue has to be dragged into the light for it to ever change. Thank you for the tug.

    ….better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness.

    • Kristina

      “I want people to think that I am naturally good (and thin, and decent) enough, even as I feel that I am naturally none of those things.”

      This, this, this. So unfortunately this. I love when people say the words you live but can’t describe. Thank you for that. But, still, super unfortunate feelings to be relating with. I have so many problems associated with basically that sentence, and you put it so very eloquently, too.

  • Larissa

    Finally receiving treatment for years of struggling with an eating disorder. And it’s going great! However, there’s this weird double standard of, “good for you, get healthy…just don’t completely give up on maintaing your weight and get fat, k?” I mean by public opinion and family/friends, not my doctors, too be clear. but still. Whose opinion matters more to most people? It’s a weird balancing act of “please eat and don’t purge, but remember not to eat too much, we’d like you to get healthy but still maintain society approved slimness!” greeeat. I’ll get right on that…
    So yes. I enjoyed this article. Great points.

  • Larissa

    And P.S. I just had a small slice of ice cream cake leftover from my brother’s birthday dinner last night. Fuck it, society. Let them eat ice cream cake.

  • S

    This is how bad it is: I got some sessions with a personal trainer, and he advised me to start smoking again so it would curb my appetite.

    WTF.

    • Carla

      WOW.

    • Eileen

      I hope you got a new personal trainer.

  • pattya

    good article. i have been overweight my whole life, well not really. my mother made a big deal about my weight at an early age (early bloomer) and it then became a problem. when i realized in high school that it was about being thin and not about being healthy my life changed.

    i realized that i didnt like that people only liked me because i was thin, i am a cool and funny person and the year before i was chubby but i was still cool and funny. so my 3 cookie a day diet, went back to eating meals, i don’t think my body was ever built for skinny, because even on my restricted diet i couldnt get below 135 at 5’6 which was never below a size 8.

    so long story short, i am now fat, cool, funny, smart, beautiful and sexy. when i step onto a train and everyone looks at me, i think its becuase im beautiful and confidant. any other reason would just make feel bad and life is too short. also, i have a great career, if someone didnt hire me because i am fat, its their loss. i eat pretty well and believe it or not i go to the gym. i hear fat comments all the time, but it think it says more about the person saying it then it does about me, which is what you smartly said.

    everyone should do what makes them happy and keeps them healthy and there are drs. out there who do believe there is health at any size.

    • Carla

      I’m your 5’8″ twin. I’ve always been “overweight” but for the most part, I love this body that I was given. Even when I was doing hours of ballet and swing dancing each week, this was just the body I was given. Granted, I had better muscle tone, but my general silhouette has been pretty consistent since I was 10 years old. To me, this means, this is where my body genetically feels comfortable.

      And I eat healthy up the wazoo. I grow my own fruit and veggies in the backyard. I don’t drink coffee or caffeine in general. No high fructose corn syrup. I’m pretty much a protein and veggies person because that’s what I like, but it still doesn’t influence my weight in either way.

      Men also don’t realize how our physiology is different and we’re built to genetically retain weight in order to be able to provide nourishment during pregnancies. The body doesn’t worry that we may or may not be interested in having children at the moment (or ever). Men also lose weight faster and gain muscle faster. So yeah, it’s fun for those that judge, right?

      For me, I’m happy with me. And really, other people are happy as well. I was walking with my mom this morning to get some copies made for my father’s cremation, and she heard a man tell me that I was beautiful. I laughed when she told me and told her I don’t hear it anymore because it happens all the time. (I was only half joking. :P) I really think that my positive attitude that shines through. I always try to smile and make eye contact with my fellow humans to show that I acknowledge their presence in the world, from businessmen to bums, we’re all people. We just gotta show each other love. This world needs more of each other being supportive. Life is short.

  • Eagle Eye

    Holy Crap thanks for writing this! I’ve recently found myself this summer to be on the wrong side of 120lbs – which is not really a big deal, and FWIW it was a conscious choice that this summer was going to be about doing some serious studying that’s going to have a major impact on my future career prospects so dieting/ calorie counting was just not going to be in the cards since being hungry meant thinking about being hungry which meant not studying. So, I figured that I’d grin and bare the extra 5lbs but ugh, I HATE IT! My boyfriend barely notices, loves and wants me regardless but man, do I hate the extra 5lbs.

    I’ve started running to cope with my anxiety which understandably hasn’t made a big difference yet, but I can’t wait to be on the other side of this test, counting calories hear i come!

    • Eagle Eye

      Oh, and tonight for the sake of my mental health, its horrible yet amazing pizza, beer and action movie night. But I’ve been looking forward to this all week, so there’s that…

  • Vanessa

    I’m sorry, but when did it become necessary to publish articles that, not only provide a horribly biased (and unhealthy…and crude) view of ‘health’ and ‘acceptance’, but an article that also uses a great deal of fear-mongering? This article should seriously be marked as ‘triggering’, and readers should be wiser than to state that this is some stunningly ‘honest’ or ‘intelligent’ piece. To me, these words come off as the result of someone very insecure trying to justify their insecurities by generalizing an entire society. Just the way you describe you daily thoughts and obsessions hints at the fact that you are (quite possibly) psychologically unwell, and are in no place to be addressing the public about matters of health, or shoving your opinion down the throats of “society”, for that matter.

    • Kristina

      I’m sorry, but when did it become necessary to start a sentence with “I’m sorry” when you are so clearly not? For those of us who commented and found it honest or intelligent, it struck a chord. It was something that helped us look further into ourselves, which is actually psychologically healthy. But I’m sure your self-help books and armchair psychology already give you all the answers, so I wouldn’t want to “shove” real psychology down your throat.

      OH, WAIT. I didn’t. I stated an opinion. Just as Jennifer stated an opinion in her article. Also, maybe look up the definition for “honest”. You’ll find that Jennifer was honest and forthcoming, whether or not you like her sentiments.

    • superjack

      Fuck you, Vanessa. Calling someone “unwell” for sharing their relationship to this stuff is EXACTLY the problem with the current dialogue about self-image (especially on the internet). You know absolutely nothing about the author’s height, body type or exercise routine. This piece may not be what you want to hear, but it’s true, it’s insightful and, more than anything, it’s really compassionate.

      Calling someone “unwell” because they diet is no different than hating someone for being fat–they’re both designed to minimize another person so you feel less small.

    • Vanessa

      I don’t see how knowing the author’s height nor exercise routine is relevant here. I didn’t state she was unwell because of her weight, calorie consumption, or “diet” (if we wish to call it that). I stated that she is unwell because parsing out precisely 1200 calories in a day, and weighing oneself compulsively IS inherently unhealthy. On that note, anyone who wishes to blog about diets and health should be somewhat informed on the subject, and it is becoming increasingly known that counting calories, especially to such a minute precision, is not the way to “diet”, seeing as how calorie counts are based on the Wilbur Atwater system of averages, and assumes the body is a stagnant vessel, which it is not. The most you can state about calories is that it’s a quick estimate, and is meant as a guideline… not an incentive to guzzle Zero Calorie Monster to stay “fit”. All this is to state that the author obviously has a very distorted perception of health, and that she really is no better off than these overweight individuals whom she mercilessly fat shames. Why? Because she too is a prisoner of her own body and compulsions. What progress is being made here? This article, and the praise that it is getting, is merely telling men and women alike that it is O.K to obsess about one’s weight and grade their self worth based on their ability to restrict themselves. It is THIS mentality, the mentality that states “hey, everyone thinks this way, so it must be right”, that fuels this nationwide obsession with weight and body image. You’re right, the author has full freedom to express her opinion, but the way she expresses it here comes off as a very distraught individual seeking reinforcement for her actions. We need real health, not the illusion of it written in candid prose.

    • Kristina

      Hey, uh, Jennifer, remember those parts where you specifically said you were not being healthy and that Zero Calorie Monster is definitely not a good thing for you to chug daily? Obviously, you meant the opposite of that and were parading what you eat around as a way to be “fit”!

      Geez, Vanessa, you’re so fuckin’ smart. Where’d you get your readin’ skillz from? Because it looks like I sure need some, what with actually reading the article and not making broad generalizations based on the pictures alone! You’ve changed my life!

      But, seriously though, y u no read good?

    • Allison

      You sound like the type of person who “exists on kale and dust” as they say. And someone who is VERY insecure. And someone who has no fucking clue what they’re talking about.

    • Vanessa

      I’m not entirely sure why one would think that using the word “fucking” (or any of its variations) would make their arguments come off as anything but even more so undereducated. You should probably be aware of the multitude of other powerful words in the english language, particularly when trying to call your target ‘illiterate’. Now excuse me while I go eat my “kale and dust”, and continue to have “no fucking clue” what I am talking about.

    • Jennifer Wright

      To be fair, the original title of this article was “my super awesome beauty secrets: neurotic calorie counting and tons of zero calorie monster” but I changed it, since I would never say, think or believe those things were good.

    • Kristina

      Yeahhhh… See, the problem with people who deride the use of the word “fucking” in an otherwise thoughtful comment is that they are pushing an incorrect assumption that there were no other words we could have used than “fucking”. But you would be wrong! I know plenty of very large, very patronizing terminology that I could very, very easily throw at you! I found, however, that the word I was searching for all along was “fucking”.

      Go fucking figure.

  • Jamie Peck

    That being said, I do wonder how much we should CARE about getting treated better by society for how we look. You’re not a model, you use your brain to make money, and your real friends will presumably like you no matter what you look like. Might it then improve your quality of life to work less on dieting and more on disregarding how random people treat you as you navigate the world? I think it might. (This is something I’m working on, too.)

    • Lemona

      I love your comment, Jamie.

      For the past year I’ve been re-doing my wardrobe with something like this in mind –instead of picking clothes that are designed to make my body look good/desirable/slender, I’ve been picking clothes that look cool in and of themselves. When you’re a kid, you like a shirt because it has a unicorn with a glittery mane on it, not because the shirt flatters your form. So I’m doing that now. I’m still picking clothes that fit, but I’m not picking clothes that are designed to make my body look good.

      I’m not judging people for trying to look sexy or desirable. I just got tired of considering whether or not garments made me look thin.

  • m

    Thank you so much for this article. At 20 years old I’ve been overweight my entire life. Literally. This past December, I went on a “miracle diet” in which I lost at least a pound every day. I lost 20 pounds and kept most of it off. Everyone noticed and told me I looked amazing, but I couldn’t see it. I thought I looked exactly the same. (Except my jeans were HUGE on me.) Now Im on my second round of the diet, trying to lose another 10 pounds. But now I realize, even when I do get to that weight, that I STILL won’t be happy. I never will. WE never will. But we have to accept ourselves as we are.

    Fuck it, Im done with this diet.

  • Mandy

    I have issues with fat because I’ve been fat my whole life. To me personally, it sucks. Not only do I feel like shit physically, but I think fat people are gross looking unless we happen to be one of the rare people who are classically beautiful like Adele. Yes, I am stating my personal opinion. Yes, I am including myself in that gross category. Yes, my opinions are clearly unhealthy & self-loathing. It’s still how I feel.

    • kims

      i’m fat too. I am disgusted with myself. I hate looking in full length mirrors. my body disgusts me. & I have been single for 4 years b/c of it. ppl try to reassure me, say things like , youre beautiful on the inside blah blah, but i’m so disgusted with myself that I can’t even consider someone being physically attracted to me. I know what I am on the inside, but even I can’t look past the outside of my own body.

  • Irene

    Interesting article topic :) I agree that in the back of our minds we don’t want to be overweight, who actually enjoys being overweight? I think the difference is that if you are at a good weight, and you know the work and discipline that it takes to get there, it’s hard to understand how someone could not want or work for that themselves. Another aspect that we forget is that people who are overweight have either gotten there because of poor self-discipline, medications, genetics or just cultural views on body type(mimicking the ‘group’ image). Myself I gained mass, not weight, on birth control. At first it took a lot for me to not feel bad when I didn’t fit into my pants. But I’m okay with it now because I don’t obsess over it. I’ve been raised on the idea that you feed your body what it needs, balance. So I’ll inhale a muffin three days in a row and then eat ice cream at night, just as long as I fill it out with veggies, protein and exercise. This way I don’t end up with that guilty-I’ve had too much sugar today(oops) feeling. And yes I once inhaled a huge bag of chips because I stress eat, who hasn’t. We just have to be good with our own habits and give ourselves what is necessary.
    And the whole thing about the doctors and the government is silly. Denying resources won’t really solve the problem. If anything the gov and doctors should work together and eliminate the chemicals we put in foods, a’duh.

  • Marissa

    This reminds me of the “Mike and Molly” Maura Kelley article in Marie Claire where she admitted that watching the show would make her uncomfortable b/c she found it difficult to look at fat people. Not that JW is saying that she finds it disgusting to look at fat people (as Kelley did)…but I think what both articles are getting at is that we hate to watch people who can’t control their impulses–especially when they’re our own weaknesses. Weight impulse control is obvious b/c weight is so obvious…(though I guarantee I have less control over my food impulses than most people who are bigger than me).

    There is a girl in my office who refuses to try and eat healthy foods. She will eat on average a box of doughnut holes (at least 12) with an extra large orea frap for breakfast, two pepperoni rolls for lunch and random snacks throughout the day. I know this because she very loudly states what she’s eaten, even saying that her stomach is swollen from eating too much and that she’s 150 pounds overweight. I find her incredibly interesting b/c I’ve never heard anyone embrace her diet this way and matter a factedly state she’s overweight. But I know on some level that she bothers me that I don’t believe she can be happy being her size. Is it me who is more emotionally unhealthy or her? I truly don’t know.

    • Lemona

      I have a friend like your co-worker! I don’t know if she’s happy at her current size, but I don’t have any reason to think she’s unhappy –she eats whatever she wants and seems to enjoy all of it, and has never mentioned wanting to diet. I like that she doesn’t have any shame about it –she’ll say, “I had to eat pizza for all three meals yesterday because I had so many pizza coupons that were about to expire.” It’s refreshing to be around a woman who doesn’t have any anxiety about food/dieting.

  • MaryAnnC

    People metabolize food differently. If you have 10 people with the same eating habits and same level of activity, you’ll have 10 different body types. I know people who eat nothing but junk and don’t exercise and they are really thin. I know people who eat well and exercise and just can’t be as thin. People have different appetites. it’s not fair that a thin person can enjoy a double cheeseburger, fries and milkshake and no one says a word but an overweight person can’t enjoy food like that once in a while.

    I used to be able to eat whatever I want but I’m in my 40s now and I can’t do that anymore. I have to eat less and I jog 3 miles a day and the extra weight is too stubborn. Some people have their appetites satisfied faster than others. I wish people would realize that bodies are not interchangeable and that you can’t assume that they aren’t trying and that just because something worked for you that it will work for them and accuse them of not trying.

    • Bob

      Metabolism is largely based on the amount of muscle mass you have. Also, jogging 3 miles a day is not enough to lose weight. Our bodies adapt too well to training. 1) If you do decide to do slower pace cardio, you must keep track of your times and constantly try and improve. 2)Try higher intensity cardio and vary things. Ex. Sprint 400m 8 times, sprint 200m 8 times, burpee+jumping workout.

      The important thing about exercise is to push our bodies. Of course, with work and other daily duties it can be hard to find the energy to do this. But that’s why I do it near the end of my day so my training will not effect my more important duties.

  • Bob

    Sorry, but staying fit is really not that hard. 1,200 calories a day is not healthy. If you really want to look good and feel good, hitting the gym would help immensely. More muscle mass=higher metabolism. Plus the tearing down of muscle causes the body to burn many calories to repair those tears. Couple that with cardio or HIT cardio once or twice a week and your metabolism should go way up. Its not like women who work out in the gym become too muscular anyways, its only the ones who take steroids. A woman who hits the gym, does squats and has a shapely posterior is much more attractive than someone who just diets.

    I don’t really recommend jogging alone, HIT training elevates metabolism more effectively. I see so many people who jog religiously but still are unable to lose their weight.

    Also as far as diet is concerned, if you eat the right things, you won’t crave things like ice cream cake. My 130g+ of protein seems to keep me away from craving junk food. Couple that with lots of apples, bananas, and other good fruits, your body won’t crave fatty foods as much. I used to love junk food, but now I have no urge to eat it.

    • L

      Bob, you’re making me never want to work out. This doesn’t inspire me. It makes me want to sink deeper into my couch. It just sounds hard.

    • Renee

      And you honestly believe that what works for you and your body should automatically work the same for everyone else?

      Yes, staying fit is that hard, for some people it is, easy, for others hard, for others even harder, and others still, almost impossible. Scientific studies have shown this.

      One of the biggest problems we have is thinking that one way of being is the best and will work for everyone. If we were all the same, maybe this would be true. But not sure if you have notice this, but we are all different.

    • Amber

      Bob — miss the boat on the whole “let’s not shame people” bit?

    • Susan R.

      If being thin were easy and simple for everyone, everyone would be thin.

      Also- being patronized does not help.

    • Sam

      “A woman who hits the gym, does squats and has a shapely posterior is much more attractive than someone who just diets.”

      Fortunately for you, we’re not all trying to be attractive for Bob.

    • Ara

      I absolutely love it when men tell women all the “secrets” to looking good. I work out for an hour a day (30 minutes of cardio intervals, 30 minutes strength training) 4 days a week and average about 1400 calories a day. In the event that I average over 1500 a day for a month I WILL put on weight. Oh, but if I just eat 140g of protein a day I’ll keep the fat off. HA. HA. HA.

  • Annie

    Ahh! I have been a Gloss reader for a long time but never a commenter – I just enjoy reading the *mostly* intelligent dialogue that takes place in the comment section. But I can’t help myself here. It’s becoming more and more clear that there is an epidemic of low self-esteem among women and it makes me so sad to see the level of self hate that we can have for ourselves. I’ve never been a great writer but I’ve been spreading the following article as far and wide as I can, because she says it better than I ever could. Please please please take 3 minutes out of your day to read it and think about the message:

    http://gokaleo.com/?p=542

  • Sarah

    I come from a family of naturally heavy people, but have grown into a 5’8″, naturally 110lbs 20 year old. It just goes to show everyone’s body is different! and p.s., my boyfriend is 6’1″, 225lbs, is a chubby monkey, and I wouldn’t have him any other way! Not everyone hates overweight people, just saying. There actually are people who accept everyone for who they are.

  • Sarah

    So, how about people who (like myself) go on a required medication for whatever reason and again 60 lbs in 6 months because of it? Should I fear that because my doctor prescribed medication X, Y or Z that in 6 months he has the option of not treating me because of its side effects. What happened to the Hippocratic Oath. You become a doctor to help the sick no matter what illness they have. I do not believe a doctor has the right to choose a patient simply by their weight. Hell, if the psychiatrist I work for had to choose by weight most people would not get their medications to have a stable life. Ridiculous.

  • MR

    If you don’t mind me asking? How much do you weigh? From that photo of you and Ashley, a couple of days ago, neither of you need to lose weight or should be obsessing about it. Again just my opinion.

  • Mike

    A lot of people here are trying to blame what is a national epidemic on different body types? Wake up people. The main reason people are fat and the overwhelming reason people are unhealthy is poor diet and lack of exercise. Yes people have different body types but Stop eating processed food and exercise 3-4 hrs a week and you will be a lot less fat and much healthier than you otherwise would have been.

    • Miss Truth Hurts

      *yawn*…….Anyway the only people obsessing over weight is WHITE PEOPLE, and you can add AGE to that list too. Both are things they physically don’t do well. 27 is old to white people being that they look age 40 by age 25 while dark-skinned ethnicities still look in their 20′s while they are pushing 40. As for weight, anything over a size 6 is considered “full figured” so you KNOW a size 10 is morbidly obese to them. Again white women have weird body shapes & flat asses so yeah staying as skinny as possible would behoove them. LMAO! I mean who else has anorexia & bulimia? Who else thinks being 5’7″ and 100lbs is sexy? WHITE PEOPLE! F*ckin Ridiculous! The cruel jokes you hear white-people make about peoples age & weight is ridiculous, and go way too far with it. Extremely disrespectful and no one ever says shit because white people are so f**cking passive-aggressive it’s pathetic.

    • Martine

      LOL! Thats probably why every black guy only wishes he could be with any white woman that white men don’t think is pretty enough. And thats why most white men would rather cut off their arm then touch a black woman.
      Yes, we all know that black girls think wearing spandex when they weight 300 lbs is fine. White women are slender, and don’t have an ass you can serve dinner on. True. Thats a good thing.
      Seriously people, what did you expect? Just because most black women wouldn’t say what Miss Truth did doesn’t mean they don’t hate you. They do.

    • MedicWife

      And what? Black women walking around on stilettos heels that are screaming under 450lbs of chicken, watermelon and Ciroc with their ugly, swollen, purple hued,cankles hanging over their heels is sexy? No sexy strut there, looks like they are slipping and sliding around on sticks of butter. Excuse me…I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. The most entertainment one can get is Golden Corral on a Sunday afternoon. I wouldn’t leave my bedroom dressed like these “full figured” (full…what are they filling a tanker truck?) do, much less enter a place of worship. In no way, shape, form or fashion do I find anything wrong with overweight people, but I do find those that do not dress size appropriate nauseating. I’ll let you in on a little secret, black men laugh at them too. I’ve got to hand it to black women though, they have confidence no matter how false it is.

    • Sam

      “Extremely disrespectful and no one ever says shit because white people are so f**cking passive-aggressive it’s pathetic.”

      Not to be a jerk, but it’s pretty disrespectful to group together every single white woman as having “weird body shapes & flat asses.”

      Also, there men and women of all races who have had bulimia and anorexia. It’s not a race-specific illness. Being dismissive of any person’s struggle with it is not only offensive, it’s also just as “F*ckin Ridiculous” as you claim other people sound.

    • Jen

      Hm, that’s interesting. I started reading the comments section expecting a conversation about weight, beauty standards, the unrealistic expectations some of us place on ourselves, etc. What I was not expecting was blatant, mouth-frothing racism.

      (Yes, Miss TH, racism. Look it up.)

  • badger

    The author of the article looks like the kind of girl who eventually gets fat.

    • Renee

      Oh hey, an internet prophet! Tell me more about the future, oh wise one. Bless us all with your gift of foresight.

    • Renee

      I just cannot get over the fact that you are fat-shaming someone who is thin/attractive. As a real life fattie, I am just going to give up on the dream of being excepted by everyone. And that is fine, because honestly, I don’t give a shit about anyone who is stupid enough to hate/discriminate against me for being fat.

      So thank you for helping me realize that the opinion of assholes just doesn’t matter.

  • Sadie

    Never comment, but Carla… Woman I want to hug you. You have it going on. Please don’t change a thing!

  • Michael

    (believe it or not it happened) I’m a christian and God delivered me from my depression that I faced for about 8 years or more (reached a bad place and cried out for Him to take it away and it was gone right then and there). Since then one of the positive things of not having that depression is I actually worry about health and eating habits which I didn’t really care about before. What I’m trying to say is that sometimes (probably a lot of the time) there are underlying issues like depression and such that can be the cause and anyone who hasn’t dealt with something like that really doesn’t know what it’s like. One of my friends put it nicely when I was trying to explain to him… like being wrapped in saran wrap for a long time and having it taken off and being able to experience life for the first time. (as I also can appreciate nature, sights, smells, etc now and enjoy things I never would have) Don’t just get mad at people for it and blindly hurl insults or telling them to work out and eat healthy. You don’t know their life experiences, issues, feelings, etc… (and some people are just lazy or don’t care) on the other hand we can’t just watch as people destroy themselves. Meanwhile people are making a ton of money feeding people junk which I also don’t think is right. I went on a school robotics trip to Israel a while back and only saw a handful of overweight people it really has gotten bad here.