But then, I’ve never been a big fan of Anne Geddes. Look at this:
Okay, I know, I know, it is an adorable baby smiling. It is hard not to have your heart warmed by adorable baby smiles.
OR IS IT?
The context on these always throws me. I understand why babies smile. It’s because they’re filled with love and gas.
But why is the baby in the lily pads? Why does it have a sunflower around its head? Is it like the baby God of sunflowers? Sunflowers aren’t even purple. Did someone just dress a baby up in terrible camouflage and leave it in a pond? Was this like a Prince of Egypt thing? Where is the basket?
Also, once, when I was about 7, in the pediatrician’s office, I asked my mom how they made all the babies look so happy in these pictures. “They drug them, probably,” my mother replied. This is a good example of why you shouldn’t be witty around children, because, for the rest of my life, I have imagined all of the babies in Anne Geddes pictures being pumped full of heroin beforehand. Seriously. Look at their glazed little eyes and think about it. Liam Neeson needs to get off his ass and rescue them.