She wanted to make sure that I was going to to go to Burberry, because they would be taking pictures of anyone who wore a Burberry coat. I have a Burberry coat that used to belong to my mother. She wrote about it. Suffice to say, this coat is a big deal for us.
It was 85 degrees out, and I tried to think about how I was going to carry a Burberry trench around the entire day. I tried to think about how I was not going to do this because I had a plan.
“Think it’s going to be a bit a bit of a madhouse – kind of just want to do the Plaza.” I texted back.
“Ok.” She texted.
Someone once told me that I had a curious ability to make the phrase “okay” sound exactly like “it was the worst of times.” It’s nice to know where I got this from.
The workday was actually alright. I found a copy of Page Six Magazine on the ground. Just lying on the ground! The goddamn ground! I tell you, it was like finding a diamond necklace in a sewer.
There was an article about Cat Marnell in which she said that real girls know how to do bulimia, which made me wish I was friends with Cat Marnell, so I could send her Sam’s article on the after-effects of bulimia. Then it occurred to me that this would be the entirety of my friendship with Cat Marnell. It would just be me sending her articles to make her consider the rational outcomes of actions, and her probably not being all that rational, and then eventually I would give into her madness and overdose on cocaine at The Dream hotel.
There was also a section in the magazine where they profiled sexiest political campaign people in New York. I went to the same school as one of the girls who was campaigning for the Republicans. She said her dream date owns “A Vineyard Vines red elephant tie.” This set off a good ten minutes of nostalgia, wherein I just googled all the Vineyard Vines ties.
I hope she finds someone like that in New York, but I really think the odds of someone retching on her are higher.
So, that was what I did in the day. I read Page Six Magazine. I must have written articles. And then, at the end of the day, Ashley suggested we go to Tom Ford before I went to the Plaza. And I figured, hell, I can handle one more place.