• Mon, Sep 10 2012

Harlotry: I Was A Live Nude Girl

I was taking all this in when I heard a calm, yet slightly confused-sounding woman’s voice.

“Can I help you?” she asked.

There was a pleasant-looking older woman sitting behind a little screened counter window. She could have been someone’s grandmother! In fact, she probably was someone’s grandmother, and here she was selling tickets to see live nude girls. It was odd, and I wondered what had landed her in such an unusual position.

“Yes,” I replied, “I want to work here.”

Her face broke into a smile.

“Are you eighteen?” she asked, “Do you have your ID?”

I was and I did. As I slid my ID into the slot under the window, she asked when I could start.

“Tomorrow night?” I asked.

Apparently they did indeed need a new girl, as they tried to always have four girls to a shift. She opened the door that led to the dressing room and ushered me into the office. I chose a name (Lemon, like Chelios’ girlfriend in the ridiculous and awesome Crank movies) set up my schedule to work the next three nights. She led me into the dressing room where my new coworkers sat smoking cigarettes and sleeping.

The dressing room was about the size of a spacious closet and nearly half of it was taken up with a counter that ran from one end of the room to the other. I was unimpressed until I saw the stages; then my feelings changed dramatically.

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  • Maggie

    Your stories are all so good! Someone should really give you a book deal :)

    • Cate

      I appreciate your vote of confidence!

      The idea of a book deal both excites and scares me. People have predicted it will happen, but so far there has been nothing. I am not too worried, though, after all I only started writing for people who are not myself a few months ago.

    • Andrea Dunlop

      I agree! Cate- hollar at me if you want to talk publishing. Jen has my info.

    • Cate

      Hi Andrea!
      I’m really hoping you aren’t just some troll trying to toy with my fragile hopes and dreams. However, so long as you are who you say you are, it is a real pleasure to internet-meet you! I have contacted Jennifer to ask about your contact information, as I would very, very much love to talk about publishing with you.

  • Meagan S

    This was hilarious! How on earth were you supposed to express your awe at their penis size? Two thumbs up?

    • Cate

      Two thumbs up, or maybe a sassy, hand-over-wide-open-mouth pin-up girl face? I’m really not sure what they wanted

      Honestly, though, I did see the biggest dick I’ve ever encountered while working in the peep show. Calling the thing a baby arm would not be an exaggeration and I could only think of how happy I was to not be on the receiving end of that appendage. The issue there was more concealing horror than anything else.

  • Renee

    Oh god…they ARE all inordinately proud of their genitalia.

    “they’d whip it out and look up with expectant, ‘Mommy, look what I did’ expressions” THIS.

    I’m pro sex work, but I have never felt comfortable pursing it myself. Which is why as a former massage therapist, it really pissed me off when men didn’t understand the difference between massage therapy and sex work. Like the client who decided to make his dick dance in the middle of me giving him a massage. As if I would be so impressed I would just throw in a free hand-job. A dancing dick is hilarious not enticing!

    • Cate

      That is just…god, that’s terrible. I mean, I have no words. Is the massage not enough for people?

      Sometimes I really do wonder what is wrong with people.

  • Silenus

    I find your posts interesting. Is there any way I can be notified of new posts without receiving Gloss’s 181.5 posts per week in my RSS feed?

    Thanks,

    Si

    • Cate

      Well, I know that my stories post every Monday somewhere between ten and noon, except on holiday weekends when they post on Tuesdays. As far as I know you can’t just subscribe to my posts, but you can check the site on the appropriate day.

      I am glad you like my posts!

    • Marian Rosenberg – Haikou #1 Translation Agency

      Indeed. I’m subscribed to Gloss’s 180+ posts a week just to read Harlotry.

      Even though I don’t deliberately read them skimming through Mommyish and STFU Parents and all the other Gloss stuff has led me to know more about the fashion world or parenting than I ever wanted to know.

      I’ve also realized that quite a number of the professional writers on this site are desperately in need of someone to check their grammar before they post. The mistakes jump off the screen, grab my eyes, and punch me in the face.

    • Cate

      Oh wow, I guess that speaks really well of me. But seriously guys, The Gloss has a bunch of other cool articles! Jennifer’s Shelved Dolls and Ashley’s Illustrated Guides in particular are very interesting and entertaining. If my recommendation carries any weight, I suggest you give them a shot.

  • Madam Michelle

    Sad the way men pay them to lie to their faces and laugh behind their backs and in return, the men respect them the most. Sad.