• Mon, Sep 10 2012

Harlotry: I Was A Live Nude Girl

As a prostitute, I saw clearly that most patrons of sex workers are searching for intimacy (and, above all, acceptance) from their whores. In the peep show, the quest for acceptance became even more overt: their cocks became symbols, not only of their masculinity but of their very selves. “Love me,” they seemed to say, “Look at this, my most secret appendage, the most private body part, admire it, and love me.”

Some of them didn’t seem to want acceptance so much as they wanted praise: they’d whip it out and look up with expectant, ‘Mommy, look what I did’ expressions as if they wanted me to congratulate them for having one X and one Y chromosome and the genitalia generally accompanying that particular piece of genetic code. It was strange to me, the self-satisfaction these men seemed to feel regarding their anatomy. I wondered if this was unique to the patrons of peep shows, if the format lent itself to exhibitionism, or if all men are given to patting themselves on the back because they have a penis.

When I think about it, even the men I have known outside of the sex industry seem inordinately proud of their downstairs plumbing: the size, the uses, the very existence of this somewhat silly tube of flesh that dangles between their legs. But I have never known a woman to be so proud of any of her sexual characteristics, primary or secondary. Little girls, sure–I can’t imagine that my sister and I were the only girl-children to proudly announce that each of us was the owner of a ‘buh-gina’–but grown women? No. Every so often one encounters a woman who goes out of her way to show the world that her pride in her cunt is equal to or greater than any man’s pride in his cock, but it seems forced and affected, not something springing organically from her.

I have to wonder if pride in our genetalia is something we grow out of or something that is socialized out of us. If it’s socialization, one could easily argue that it’s a bad or sexist thing, but is the end result so terrible? It would be ridiculous to congratulate oneself for having two arms, a set of toes, or a heart. Why is it somehow less ridiculous to pat yourself on the back because of whatever is between your legs?

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  • Maggie

    Your stories are all so good! Someone should really give you a book deal :)

    • Cate

      I appreciate your vote of confidence!

      The idea of a book deal both excites and scares me. People have predicted it will happen, but so far there has been nothing. I am not too worried, though, after all I only started writing for people who are not myself a few months ago.

    • Andrea Dunlop

      I agree! Cate- hollar at me if you want to talk publishing. Jen has my info.

    • Cate

      Hi Andrea!
      I’m really hoping you aren’t just some troll trying to toy with my fragile hopes and dreams. However, so long as you are who you say you are, it is a real pleasure to internet-meet you! I have contacted Jennifer to ask about your contact information, as I would very, very much love to talk about publishing with you.

  • Meagan S

    This was hilarious! How on earth were you supposed to express your awe at their penis size? Two thumbs up?

    • Cate

      Two thumbs up, or maybe a sassy, hand-over-wide-open-mouth pin-up girl face? I’m really not sure what they wanted

      Honestly, though, I did see the biggest dick I’ve ever encountered while working in the peep show. Calling the thing a baby arm would not be an exaggeration and I could only think of how happy I was to not be on the receiving end of that appendage. The issue there was more concealing horror than anything else.

  • Renee

    Oh god…they ARE all inordinately proud of their genitalia.

    “they’d whip it out and look up with expectant, ‘Mommy, look what I did’ expressions” THIS.

    I’m pro sex work, but I have never felt comfortable pursing it myself. Which is why as a former massage therapist, it really pissed me off when men didn’t understand the difference between massage therapy and sex work. Like the client who decided to make his dick dance in the middle of me giving him a massage. As if I would be so impressed I would just throw in a free hand-job. A dancing dick is hilarious not enticing!

    • Cate

      That is just…god, that’s terrible. I mean, I have no words. Is the massage not enough for people?

      Sometimes I really do wonder what is wrong with people.

  • Silenus

    I find your posts interesting. Is there any way I can be notified of new posts without receiving Gloss’s 181.5 posts per week in my RSS feed?

    Thanks,

    Si

    • Cate

      Well, I know that my stories post every Monday somewhere between ten and noon, except on holiday weekends when they post on Tuesdays. As far as I know you can’t just subscribe to my posts, but you can check the site on the appropriate day.

      I am glad you like my posts!

    • Marian Rosenberg – Haikou #1 Translation Agency

      Indeed. I’m subscribed to Gloss’s 180+ posts a week just to read Harlotry.

      Even though I don’t deliberately read them skimming through Mommyish and STFU Parents and all the other Gloss stuff has led me to know more about the fashion world or parenting than I ever wanted to know.

      I’ve also realized that quite a number of the professional writers on this site are desperately in need of someone to check their grammar before they post. The mistakes jump off the screen, grab my eyes, and punch me in the face.

    • Cate

      Oh wow, I guess that speaks really well of me. But seriously guys, The Gloss has a bunch of other cool articles! Jennifer’s Shelved Dolls and Ashley’s Illustrated Guides in particular are very interesting and entertaining. If my recommendation carries any weight, I suggest you give them a shot.

  • Madam Michelle

    Sad the way men pay them to lie to their faces and laugh behind their backs and in return, the men respect them the most. Sad.