• Tue, Sep 11 2012

9 Reasons Why Shower Sex Should Be Outlawed

Shower sex is so hot these days. Seriously — after a long, sweaty summer day, there’s nothing better than stripping down with your lover and getting wet in a steaming shower stall. Or is there? For all of the Cinemax-tastic images of humid, sultry sex in the shower, my own experiences leave much to be desired. Like a comfortable, horizontal orgasm.

Shower sex is a liability. It should be banned from rental housing, like pets or smoking. Shower sex is dangerous and always leads to trouble or concussions. Here are 9 reasons why sex in the shower should be outlawed.

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  • Jenniwren

    Oh god, it’s all true…my partner and I have pretty much given up on shower sex because of the angles thing. It’s a nice idea but the practice has usually been more “get in shower, fumble around for ten minutes, give up, have sex on bedroom floor instead” in practice.
    That said, we still shower together, because I like the company.

  • ladyDi

    it’s a funny slide show, but honestly, my hubby and i enjoy ourselves the same. i don’t mind if he see’s my black heads or cellulite. he thinks i’m beautiful anyway :)

  • crosswind

    Showering together is fun, however we know why the wealthy build HUGE showers… i would too with a stone bench, less slippery floor etc. and all!! if we had the money one day maybe. :))

    • Jenniwren

      And tasteful handles and footholds and stuff that are worked into the decor and don’t look like mobility aids…that would be so cool.

  • Cate

    Everything in this slideshow is true. I hate shower sex and I hate showering with other people. Shower time is me time, partly because I don’t need someone I am attracted to seeing me scrape all the traces of Serbian she-wolf genes off of myself, and partly because I don’t want to deal with all the other shower sex problems.

  • holleeta

    I’ve known quite a few dudes who are into the runny mascara look. Also, I fucking love shower sex. Nothing to clean afterwards! The best place to receive a facial if you’re into that type of thing.

    Best position: Man standing behind you, you bent over with bands on the tub floor. It feels amazing. I like for the man to be under the water so I get the occasional bit of water running down.

  • martesa

    These slides are all so true! Movies make it look great, but it’s nothing but difficult. The biggest problem is the lubrication issue, which remains a problem for a little while after the shower, too. As you said, you’d think water would make things easy, but it just makes things stick when you want them to move. However, as I type this, I’m re-thinking my position on this (no pun intended). Lubricants like KY are water-based, so they can easily be absorbed w/o causing problems, but that makes ‘em useless in this situation; you should never use Vaseline, as that will stay in your hoo-haw for years. My gyne just recommended olive oil as a lube — it works, it’s safely absorbed into your body, and you actually get the same nutritional benefits as if you consumed it another way…THAT might work in the shower?!

  • martesa

    These slides are all so true! Movies make it look great, but it’s nothing but difficult. The biggest problem is the lubrication issue, which remains a problem for a little while after the shower, too. As you said, you’d think water would make things easy, but it just makes things stick when you want them to move. However, as I type this, I’m re-thinking my position on this (no pun intended). Lubricants like KY are water-based, so they can easily be absorbed w/o causing problems, but that makes ‘em useless in this situation; you should never use Vaseline, as that will stay in your hoo-haw for years. My gyne just recommended olive oil as a lube — it works, it’s safely absorbed into your body, and you actually get the same nutritional benefits as if you consumed it another way…THAT might work in the shower?!

  • daizie

    Funny slideshow, but I disagree ;)