I periodically wonder that I never became bulimic.
Today I am pretty much 100% convinced that bulimia is one of the ten worst ideas you could possibly have. Just such a very, very bad idea. Please don’t do that. Just, don’t do that, really.You will end up spittingÂ blood.
But still, when I was younger, I can’t believe that bulimia didn’t strike me as aÂ way to counter my natural propensity forÂ vanity with my profound, passionate love for food. It never did. Instead I just eat a really high protein diet, and regulate my cheat days, and go to Physique 57 three times a week, and run, and think about food all the time.Â
I read somewhere – I’m pretty sure it was Steven King’s On Writing - that the test of an alcoholic is that when you ask him how much he is going to drink, the instinctive response is “all of it.” All that is available. And that when an alcoholic sees someone walking away from a half full glass of wine, he wants to run over and say “finish that, finish that, aren’t you going to finish that?”
Whenever I see women staring atÂ a piece of cake, saying “oh, that is too big, who could possibly eat all of that?” my instinctive response is “me. Me, I will eat that. Give that to me and I will eat it for you, me, me, me. I will eat that. Me.”
Periodically people decide that my food obsession must be a terrible thing. And they want to help me not think about food. Like this commenter:
Â Â Â Â Â Â As far as diet is concerned, if you eat the right things, you wonâ€™t crave things like ice cream cake. My 130g+ of protein seems to keep me away from craving junkÂ food.Â Couple that with lots of apples, bananas, and other good fruits, your body wonâ€™t crave fatty foods as much. I used to love junk food, but now I have no urge to eat it.
That sounds awful.
One day I’m going to write a novel about a futuristic dystopia where food is outlawed and everyone is incredibly healthy and only eats pills, because that’s the worst thing I could imagine. The hero is going to run an underground macaron speakeasy.
I understand rationing when you want to eat junk food if you want to be (or appear) fit. I just don’t understand why you would not want it. I mean, eating delicious food is something really, really, really pleasurable that – unlike something really, really, really pleasurable like heroin – will not completely destroyÂ your life.
I am a little obsessive. But food is my only real obsession, and it gives me unbelievable pleasure to sit around looking at menus and thinking about events where I’m going toÂ eat delicious creations.
So. You cannot imagine how much I have been looking forward to the opening of the new snack bar at Henri Bendel.