The world was almost thrown off its axis last week when we all realized that underneath her perfectly-chosen, classy attire the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, has breasts. Shocker! Not only does she have breasts but she seems to think it’s OK to traipse around with her husband on a private estate in France that sits on over 600 acres thinking that no one will catch her being topless. I’ll write it again: 600 acres. Obviously, 600 acres is nothing for a skilled and prying paparazzi. The paparazzi are a horrible lot.
Despite the obvious upset over the photos and the complete invasion of privacy that will probably have Kate sunbathing with her top on forever, both she and Will managed to keep their tempers in check publicly. They went about their royal duties with smiles on their faces while back home in London shit got serious. London is also about to crackdown on an Italian magazine, Chi that, although well aware of the lawsuit that Closer is facing, went and published the topless photos of Kate, too. Chi doesn’t seem to be run by smart people.
For the past several days, all anyone can talk about is Kate being topless on her vacation trying to enjoy herself. The woman is human, she has breasts and if she wants to lay out topless on vacation with her husband then great. She was in France, she was in Europe, she was in a place where that’s totally acceptable. She’s a person before she’s a Duchess and should be allowed to act anyway she sees fit especially on OVER 600 ACRES OF PRIVATE PROPERTY.
But the world shouldn’t be just about Kate and her breasts. So in case you can’t figure out what else you can talk about by the water cooler today or at dinner tonight with your friends, here are a few suggestions.