Buy two store bought pies, 5 or 6 inches wide. 6 inches is preferred, but 5 inches works as well. If you go to your local bakery or upscale grocery store, they should have some of these. I went to the Little Pie Company, which is spectacular (great sour cream and apple walnut). Pumpkin and apple were the recommended pies. However, I didn’t get to the Little Pie Company until 7 (again, I have a life), and they had sold out of pumpkin and apple pies.
So I sat down in the corner and wept uncontrollably, wailing and attempting to invoke Satan to turn back the clock by any means.
But after half an hour of that or so, they just tossed me these blackberry and cherry pies, so I decided to use them.
Because, although they are both berries, they are still different kind of pies.
Then I went to a grocery store and bought two kinds of bake-mix (traditional yellow cake, which I think is great, and devil’s food, which I guess was partly a result of all those satanic incantations earlier).
I also bought eggs. 6 of them. 3 for each cake mix. What can I say? I had faith that I wouldn’t break any. I did this because I’m brave. You also need vegetable oil and a cup of water. You can buy the vegetable oil and not worry about it. It is unbreakable. You also need a cup of water for each cake mix, but if you don’t have that, you live in a house without running water, and I think you should prioritize that over make pie-cake.
Two kinds of six inch pies
2 kinds of cake mix (and two three-inch high, nine inch wide round cake tins to put them in)
2 or 3 tins of frosting
A bowl to mix everything in.
That is all you need.
They will all look like this when you lay them out in a row. This is for those of you who are visual learners and, also, our illiterate fan base: