Hot Older Men We’d Happily Sleep With

"Can't pose. Have to go do Baron stuff."

Okay, look. This is actually a Fuck Marry Kill involving Jack Nicholson, Wearren Beatty and Jeremy Irons, in honor of our debate earlier this week on whether or not 23-year-olds should be having sex with other 23-year-olds (as opposed to aging bankers). We were surprised that a number of the comments were so negative–”Any man in his 40s who is looking to date a 23 year old has issues. He either has a daddy complex or is desperately trying to recapture his youth via a trophy girlfriend”–what with plenty of older men being so attractive in their own right. Anyway, we tried to play Fuck Marry Kill, but the conversation kind of just devolved into a discussion of men over 60 we find hot. You can still submit your FMK votes at the end, though.

Jennifer: Okay, so, on our debate yesterday, some readers said they found older men disgusting. And others said you should be free to love who you want to love. To hell with that. I say if you’re a woman in your 20′s you should only date men over 60, like we’re in ancient Rome.

Ashley: So, is this supposed to be a real conversation or are we just saying incendiary things for traffic now? Because I could conduct myself like an adult for the next ten minutes, or I could say that Jewish men lie. Choose wisely.

Jennifer: JEWISH MEN LIE And WASP men have very small penises. Penii?

Ashley: I think that’s bad Latin. Er, I mean, anyone who makes more than 50k a year has a tiny penis!

Jennifer: Mitt Romney has a micro-phallus  Sorry about the bad Latin, I didn’t spend enough time reading On The Nature Of Things. I was out drinking with elderly professors.

Ashley: I know you’re not joking and that makes me sort of uncomfortable. Then again, you’re the editor-in-chief and I’m deputy.

Jennifer: So runs the world. Take that morals. So – who are we debating?

Ashley: Jack Nicholson, Warren Beaty and Jeremy Irons.

Share This Post:
    • Leila

      I don’ t think this can be reiterated enough: WHY DIDN’T YOU DO HARRISON FORD?!

      • Ashley Cardiff

        I DONT KNOW

    • Alma

      You ladies make me happy <3

    • Maggie

      Another pro for marrying Jeremy Irons (as if you needed one): he could read to you in his ridiculously sexy voice. Read me bedtime stories, Jeremy Irons!

      • Jodi

        Best. Idea. Ever.

      • Jennifer Wright

        I keep the Borgias on in the background while I am working all the time. I have no idea what exactly is happening with the plot.

    • Jodi

      The entire time I was reading this, I was thinking, “Good grief! Where’s Sean Connery? Where’s Harrison Ford? HOW could they miss these two hotties?” Thankfully, you redeemed yourselves!

    • Lex

      HARRISON FORD! SEAN CONNERY!!! MARK HARMON!!!

      • Anne

        Yes!! Mark Harmon! God, how did they not even mention him??

    • Candace

      John Verdi!

      Jk (?)

      • Jennifer Wright

        You’re hitting pretty close to home for some of the people in this discussion, Candace.

    • LaLa

      Jeremy Irons FOREVER!!!!

    • Fabel

      Patrick Stewart. Definitely, definitely. Everyone wants to fuck him though, right?

    • S.Park

      guys… Robert Redford

      • Ashley Cardiff

        We really fucked this up.

    • Breezy

      Marry Jeremy Irons so he could talk me to sleep every night. And give me bad news, which I would subsequently take very well. Because even the worst news would sound nice coming from him.

      Fuck Jack Nicholson because even though he is not as sexy as he once was, the strangely erotic craziness in his eyes probably persists. I would have terrificly terrified sex with him while he yelled at me.*

      And kill Beatty. Someone had to go.

      *Got a little Stoddeny there, sorry about that.

    • Jen

      Gabriel Byrne. Gabriel Byrne forever.

    • Spastastic

      WHAT ABOUT ALAN RICKMAN?

      I’m 22, and decidedly attracted to older men. I’m attracted to young and middle-aged men too — age just isn’t much of a factor for me, really. But there does seem to be a rather long list of over-sixties that I’d totally have sex with. I call the men on this list “hot old guys.”

      A lot of my friends think it’s strange or gross, and for a while I felt weird and conflicted about it, but now I’ve decided to just own it. HOT OLDER MEN FOR THE WIN.

      • Tori

        OMG!!!!! ALAN RICKMAN! Thank you for saying that! Thought I was the only one!

      • http://www.facebook.com/sarah.hicks.73 Sarah Hicks

        I hate feeling alone about that- so it’s good to find that I’m not. Let’s just kick Beatty off the list…and make the choice a million times harder. Despite the fact that Alan Rickman wins, just wins everything. As it should be.

    • zomg

      You forgot the hottest of the hot, Christoph Waltz. Ooooh I’d F-&-or-M him any time…

      • Ashley Cardiff

        Christoph Waltz is maybe #1 Dream Husband, but at 55, he was younger than our cutoff of 60+.

    • Kristin

      Colin Firth, especially if he’s dressed up like Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice

    • GreerLovesGovert

      Nope, nope and nope. How is it Springsteen didn’t make this list? Still so very fuckable. And marriagable, too, as borne out by his track record with Patti. He’s got a standing offer with me till he’s 70.

      • Ashley Cardiff

        Look, I agree to a point–he looks great. And ’70s Springsteen may be the hottest man of all?

        But the soulpatch, my friend. The soulpatch.

    • Sarah!

      The small version of this Jeremy Irons photo looks like Henry Winkler. And I thought, “Would I fuck Henry Winkler?” I probably would.

      • Ashley Cardiff

        LOL

        It really does.

    • dee.

      Oh I would so hop into my time machine and fuck a young Jack Nicholson hard! Without a doubt he was the hottest in his prime. And while, yes, the attraction is largely based on that crazy, animal magnetism only he posses and the bland-as-a-diabetic-tray-on-an-aeroplane Beatty lacks… let us not forget Jack was physically pretty hot before he aged into a typical 70 odd year old man. While my Nicholson fueled dreams usually involve ripping that black turtleneck off Robert Dupea while he swings me around my apartment like Betty in Five Easy Pieces…I’d screw him in a mental institution or the Overlook hotel too. I’d screw him whether he’s a postman that only rings twice, an aging astronaut or a lonely guy with OCD. Why? Because he’s JACK!

    • Juke Box

      Kill Nicholson and Beatty. Marry and fuck or fuck and marry jeremy irons.