• Wed, Sep 19 2012

Being Single For A Long Time Prepared Me To Have A Healthy Relationship

Did you know that it’s National Unmarried and Single Americans Week? Well, it certainly is. Personally, I think it’s progressive and necessary for a culture that reveres romantic love and children above all else to take a moment to acknowledge that single and unmarried people not only exist, but are even valuable members of society. It would also be nice if more single and childless women were allowed to speak at political conventions, but I guess a national holiday is a start? Believe it or not, there are some single people out there who are completely happy to stay that way, and it’s important that we not treat them like freaks. But right now, I’m going to address the single people who do want to find partners, because I know you aren’t all happy all the time, and that’s okay, too.

Because it’s getting a little bit late in the day, I first thought I’d make a slide show of “things that are great about being single,” but then I remembered I’d already done that. And honestly, I feel like a lot of you are looking for a little bit more than a pat on the head and a “well, at least you can fuck whomever you want!” Personally, I know that when I was single, I didn’t want to fuck “whomever.” I wanted to fuck my boyfriend. But I hadn’t met him yet, so I couldn’t. Which made me sad.

In light of that, I’m writing this with an eye to explaining how being single can actually help with something you probably care about: locating, and establishing a great relationship with, your person. I was single for almost five years before I met my current partner (pictured), and I can honestly say that being single for what felt like an eternity ultimately helped me find, commit to, and have a healthy relationship with, my most favorite dude.

What We're Reading:
Share This Post:
  • MR

    Yeah, heathly thoughts. Just so you know I was with one woman for over 15 years. We’re still friends.

    • MR

      Yeah, that was my typo riddled healthy. :)

  • anna

    “EDITED TO ADD: Years of dating also taught me that I should look for an emotionally stable individual who is nice to me, and not a tortured, wretched, alcoholic, lying, nightmare person who disappears for weeks on end and wants me to be his mom. Which should have been obvious from the beginning, but hey, bitches be crazy.”

    me. jesus. yes. it should have been apparent, but this bitch be crazy. I was just now thinking about how the guy i’m dating isn’t “exciting”-because he’s not an insane drug addict trying to fight with me.
    Thanks for giving me a knock round the head.