11. Most things you eat come on a stick.
So that cliche is definitely true: everything is on a stick. Like frozen cheesecake, which I understand was a favorite delicacy of King Arthur’s. And…
What a monster.
After the turkey legs come…
12. Frozen bananas are a great comedic device.
This joke can really go places.
13. They taste pretty good, too.
I’d never had one! It was all right! I don’t know what that weird thing hanging off it is, though, and I hope I didn’t eat it.
14. Funnel cake is one of the few foods not on a stick.
Maybe they could try harder.
15. Ren Faire is actually more like a county faire with crafts and artisanal goods instead of rides.
Back to my earlier point about how Ren Faire is for adults; people really do go around Ren Faire like it’s a open air market from another time that sells rings and leather work and, unsurprisingly, a shitload of soaps and scented candles. When my friends originally invited me to Ren Faire, I told them I would go on the condition that one of them bought me a tri-point hat. They all had a good laugh at me because tri-point hats aren’t really an Elizabethan style, but within five minutes of getting there, I saw 1) a hat dealer selling tri-point hats and 2) dozens of dudes in tri-point hats. So, who’s laughing now, “friends?”
16. Tri-Point hats are not even close to the most ridiculous thing you can buy at Ren Faire.
Smoothies, for one. You can also buy wooden crossbows that launch marshmallows and lizards (er, “orphan dragons,” per the dragon dealer, Saint George).
17. There are fashion trends at Ren Faire.
The most popular street style craze at Ren Faire was horns. Sure, lots of ladies were getting braids, or Henna tattoos, and corsets were well-represented throughout, but the line out of the horn dealer’s stall seemed like it was dozens deep all day. Maybe it was the unisex appeal? A few people even had elf ears and horns, which is really having your cake and eating it, too.
18. You can’t be “over it” at Ren Faire.
People will see right through that.
19. There is a social hierarchy, though.
At the top is probably “people on horseback.” At the bottom is “people who have to follow the people on horseback with wheelbarrows and shovels.” :(
20. There are absolutely “cool kids” at Ren Faire.
I thought this kid was so awesome. He was smoking Marlboro Reds and looking like he was up to absolutely no good, while at the same time dressed as he was. Very, very impressive Marlboro Reds Will Scarlet.
21. Some people view Ren Faire as a chance to be silly.
It’s really the only time you can wear that.
22. Some people view Ren Faire as a chance to be themselves.
Okay, real talk. I realized pretty quickly that a lot of people seem to feel more at home at Ren Faire than they probably do anywhere else and–setting aside the astronomical admission costs, abysmal toilet situation, overpriced food and general hallucinatory dread I inevitably feel in large crowds–it makes Ren Faire pretty all right. I guess I’d say the overall “vibe” is one of people who feel like they belong together as a community and they’re all grateful for it. More to the point…
23. Ren Faire attracts many disparate subcultures.
The goths love Ren Faire–probably more than anyone else–but there were also a lot of hippies, a lot of pan-nerds, a lot of stoner kids (after the funnel cake and fryed mac’n cheese, no doubt)… but look at this sweet punk rock kid! He knows there won’t be any jocks harassing him at Ren Faire; he can just hang out and love Stiff Little Fingers and do whatever.