• Fri, Sep 21 2012

Are Skorts Going To Destroy Your Sex Appeal?

skorts sex appeal

Maybe.

On Salon, a skort wearer writes in “Skorts Killed My Sex Appeal“:

I even wore it on the spiral slide at the park, screaming at my male friend on the ride down, “Don’t worry! It’s a skort!”

He wasn’t even looking. Lately, they’re just not looking.

The skort had delivered on its promise. It had spayed me. It had communicated to the world that I am a mother, that the body part under my skort — my skagina, if you will — has accomplished the signature biological act of my species, and that now, I’d prefer that no one look at me.

On second thought, I don’t think that’s what I’d like my clothing to say.

You know, I think maybe it’s just that skorts are for golfing, and stuff, lady? You could wear a skimpy top with them! And maybe some lucite heels! It’s all going to be okay! I’m sure I’d like to see your skagina!

Well, maybe I could find a gentleman friend to take a look. It’s the ska part of your gina that scares me.

Anyhow, does anyone wear skorts? Are they fun? Are they… destroying your sex appeal? I mean, they seem fine, except for the whole going to that bathroom and then having to re-do the skirt panel thing. I like all of my articles of clothing to say “a lot of my life is based around going to the bathroom quickly, like a convict on the lam, running through a field.” That is why there is so much orange in my closet. It is upping my sex appeal no end.


Picture via Facebook

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  • Court

    I rocked skorts back in ’92 (when I was like, 7).

    Where do people even find them??? I have yet to see a store carry a skort. I do wish I could wear one, if not for just shits & giggles.

    Skagina. Hmmm…

  • http://samanthaescobar.com Samantha Escobar

    $10 says Urban Outfitters sees this post, decides skorts are uncool enough to be the “next big thing” and starts desperately overproducing sheer ones next season.

  • Katie

    I totally just bought a short from forever 21! It’s awesome because you can run around like a crazy person and no one can see your underwear. I think the key is that they have to be skirts with shorts underneath. Not half a skirt front with short backs. Those are terrible. Basically I wish all my miniskirts came with attached shorts. It makes biking and wind much less of a hassle.

  • lucygoosey74

    Eew, skorts. I even hate the word. I have a vague memory of wearing one ONCE, one time only here folks, in 1994 or so. God. What the fuck was I thinking? At least I was young and lovely then, but still!!

  • Tania

    I have a pair of skorts. But they aren’t a front skirt panel, they’re a short skirt with shorts underneath. So it looks like a skirt unless someone tries to get a peek at my underwear.

  • Via

    See, from my experience a skort is just a short skirt with shorts sewn in underneath, not just shorts with a skirt flap thing. I’ve seen those, they’re hideous. I LOVED skorts as a kid, because I was a girly girl at heart but I was raised in a family of all boys and spent most of my time running around like a maniac, and pretty much the rest of it on the swings at the playground down the street.
    Skorts we a staple in my wardrobe up until I was literally like 12, so to this day I put a pair of running shorts or spandex under a short skirt… it’s just a habit!