• Sat, Sep 22 2012

What’s Better Than Fifty Hues Between White And Black?

After the fame and glory that Fifty Shades of Grey has brought to the number fifty and the perspectives of colorblind people, I imagine we’ll be seeing a lot of products in the near future that parody the title of E. L. James’ absurdly popular trilogy. But the best one I’ve seen so far making me simultaneously laugh and creeped out — similar to my reaction towards the actual book — is  Fifty Shades of Chicken.

Yes, my friends, this book exists. And it looks weird.

Note the "Author's" Name

Complete with a cover depicting some trussed-up poultry — get it? it’s like bondage!!! — and the terrible “50 chicken recipes bound to be delicious” pun, this book seems just a tad too strange for my taste (no pun intended, there’s been enough of that already).

Don’t get me wrong: I love a good recipe book as much as the next person. But I can’t determine whether this recipe writer is playfully poking fun at the series or using it as a jumping off point to be really, really weird. The website’s description of the book is both hilarious and creepy, eerily denoting that the chicken is a female being cooked by some sadistic chef. It reads:

If Fifty Shades of Grey left you hungry and lusting for more (more, more!), then sink your teeth into this naughty tale of a young, free-range, and very fresh chicken who, like Anastasia Steele, finds herself at the mercy of a dominating man; in this case, a kinky and very ravenous chef. These fifty chicken recipes, each more seductive than the last, will make every dinner a turn-on.

It then offers a free recipe called “Dripping Thighs.” Now, don’t get me wrong: I love chicken and I love sex, but I do not ever, ever want to consume anything that refers to vaginally lubrication. Guh. Thanks for ruining sauce for me forever, “Fowler.” Serious party fowl, man (okay, that pun was intended, sorry guys).

However, if you can look past the ridiculous plays on words that will undoubtedly grace every page and want this book, it’s available for pre-order at Amazon and Barnes & Nobles.

Photo: FiftyShadesOfChicken

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