• Sun, Sep 23 2012

I’mma Let You Finish, But There May Be A Kanye West Sex Tape

"Oh, Kimmy, I'm so glad our egos finally met."

That’s right, folks: as part of his ongoing quest to ensure himself and Kim’s status as “Most Obnoxious Couple Of All Time (Of All Time!)” it would appear that a sex tape involving Kanye and a Kim lookalike has surfaced. According to RadarOnline, this bizarre 20 minute video depicts Kanye going at it with a woman who’s a “dead ringer” for Kardashian.

Strangely, the unidentified woman apparently states at the very beginning that she is over eighteen years old. I can only assume this is because Kanye was planning on the video getting out at some point and didn’t want any attention being taken away from his Oscar-worthy performance as Guy Who Cares About Anybody Besides Himself. Later, the woman claims, “My husband and I don’t have sex anymore… that’s why I’m here!”

Whatever you say, Kim 2.0

The pair reportedly proceed to have sex without any kissing (which sounds depressing to me) though apparently, he wears a condom the whole time. So, uh, thanks for promoting safe sex, Kanye! Overall, it sounds like a pretty boring bang tape — as most sex tapes tend to be — and I have zero desire to see it. I assume the only reason it’s beginning to circulate now is because Kanye felt he wasn’t getting enough media coverage lately and knew that an alleged sex tape was a fail-proof way to attract some.

Although sources are saying that he is” freaking out” about the tape, I somehow doubt it. Instead, I visualize Kim and Kanye clinking glasses of stupidly expensive champagne whilst exclaiming, “To attention and money!”

[via RadarOnline]

Pic courtesy of Fox and GossipOnThis

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  • Kelly Roman

    This is a very uncreative title.