That’s right, folks: as part of his ongoing quest to ensure himself and Kim’s status as “Most Obnoxious Couple Of All Time (Of All Time!)” it would appear that a sex tape involving Kanye and a Kim lookalike has surfaced. According to RadarOnline, this bizarre 20 minute video depicts Kanye going at it with a woman who’s a “dead ringer” for Kardashian.
Strangely, the unidentified woman apparently states at the very beginning that she is over eighteen years old. I can only assume this is because Kanye was planning on the video getting out at some point and didn’t want any attention being taken away from his Oscar-worthy performance as Guy Who Cares About Anybody Besides Himself. Later, the woman claims, “My husband and I don’t have sex anymoreâ€¦ that’s why I’m here!”
The pair reportedly proceed to have sex without any kissing (which sounds depressing to me) though apparently, he wears a condom the whole time. So, uh, thanks for promoting safe sex, Kanye! Overall, it sounds like a pretty boring bang tape — as most sex tapes tend to be — and I have zero desire to see it. I assume the only reason it’s beginning to circulate now is because Kanye felt he wasn’t getting enough media coverage lately and knew that an alleged sex tape was a fail-proof way to attract some.
Although sources are saying that he is” freaking out” about the tape, I somehow doubt it. Instead, I visualize Kim and Kanye clinking glasses of stupidly expensive champagne whilst exclaiming, “To attention and money!”
Pic courtesy of Fox and GossipOnThis