Lana Del Rey’s P*ssy “Tastes Like Pepsi Cola”

Fans of overproduced music, rejoice! Lana Del Rey is repackaging her album Born To Die as a special edition–The Paradise Edition, to be exact–with eight new tracks and presumably dozens more mixed metaphors, allusions to drugs/glamour/Hollywood/fast cars/dying young, and themes that do little to indicate she has actually read Lolita. As part of the promo, she’s released this video with more faux-fi “Video Games”-y footage of her idly miming to the new batch of songs.

And what songs they are! At approximately the :50 mark, enjoy her latest poetry…

If you didn’t hear that or can’t watch the video, you missed her mouthing, “My pussy tastes like Pepsi Cola / My eyes are wide like cherry pie / I gots a taste for men who are older / It’s always been so, it’s not surprising.” Let’s just preempt you LDR fans who haunt the comment threads and will inevitably call us fat/stupid/jealous/not famous/ugly for bagging on Lana: horrible lyricists with derivative personas who shill for car companies… are the one place we do not aim our bottomless, craven jealousy.

Also, if you don’t understand what’s lame and awful about a grown woman cooing, “I gots a taste for men who are older,” here’s a helpful instructional via NBC’s Community.

(via The Hairpin)

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    • Samantha Escobar

      Boop bee doobie doo bee do SEX. Perfect.

      Also I hope my computer’s broken or something, but is that seriously just a video of LDR burping/turning around in slow motion using video Instagram or something? Oh dear.

    • Sasha

      Are you guys jealous your pussies don’t taste like pepsi cola?

      • Misha Adams

        Just because they differ in opinion doesn’t mean they are jealous. Grow up.

      • kayla

        wow what a pathetic comment…

    • Roberto

      Sluuurrrpppp…!!! Yumyum…*belch*

    • Antonia

      The really gross part is not that her pussy tastes like pepsi cola but the ending of the song….
      ” I pledge allegiance to my dad
      For teaching me everything he knows”

      That is in the minimum disturbing since is a song abouyt having sex with older man and she says thanks to her dad for teaching her everything he knows?? For real her pussy tatsing like cola is the last disturbing part of this song

      • Claudia Valentine

        Well, the song is supposed to be disturbing, but why jump to that conclusion about her and her dad when you could just use google and be more accurate and less libelous about their relationship? Her multiple references to her father reflect alot of things in her music, including, but not limited to, the way she sings about sex, not because she had some strangely sexual relationship with her dad, but because (I’m extrapolating) he made his fortune in advertising and obviously knows a thing or two about the media, specifically the way the media uses sensationalism and sex to grab the attention of the public. This may or may not be exactly what she’s referring to in the song, but it’s a theme that’s rife throughout her music and probably a closer bet than what you’re suggesting.

    • lolatyou

      She’s a fuckin’ ugly disgraceful bitch and Pepsi/Cola is bad for your fuckin’ teeth.

    • justasomebody

      I hate overproduced music, and pretty much any modern pop, but I love LDR. She’s real and honest in her music, she doesn’t overdo it imo, she’s not a role model and she’s not trying to be, she’s being herself and there’s nothing wrong with that. Also that lyric about her pussy tasting like pepsi cola was inspired by her scottish boyfriend btw. I’m sure there’s some analogy in there with her being an all american girl and her pussy tasting like the all american drink. either way this lyric fits with her image and there’s nothing wrong with that.

    • wally

      God… sure your music taste ia fucking awesome; I hate this kind of places cause all you do is critic critic critic, no good, just criticism.

    • bre

      So you decide to base a whole article around a lyric that’s not even the main topic of the song. She says it once at the beginning and a couple more times at the end. Some people appreciate her rawness and she isnt hip-hop shes alternative. Google it. And how about you also Google pics of her father. Who has the same lips and nose as her. She writes sarcastically because she knows people like you want to direct her apart. You’re pathetic.

      • bre