Ashley: Okay, I think what we’re driving at here is the tension between who we are/what we’re able to accomplish and traditional gender roles. And also that you have weird infantilizing ice cream sundae fantasies. Are you wearing a sailor suit under the blanket, too??
Jennifer:I wear the pajamas with the feet on them. My true goal is to crawl back inside a womb. It’s why I do so much pilates.
Ashley: Well, that’s terrifying. So… I’m confused. Do you want to quit or job and get married or not? Or… I guess, do you want to quit your job and become an adult baby?
Jennifer: I’m kind of making fun of the concept, but also pretty serious. I think work is perhaps the defining feature of being an adult. And I think sometimes I want to be a child as I never was as an actual child. I mean, I was a neurotic little thing who kept second guessing, at five, whether I had gotten “too mature” for stuffed animals. I can see the appeal of being some sort of pampered trophy wife. But… I don’t seem to like it when people try to take care of me in real life? If someone tried that duvet-old-movie-ice-cream thing I’d… That sounds great, actually. Maybe I could be a little bit sick so I didn’t feel guilty about being all wrapped up in blankets. I’m confused.
Ashley: I think what you’re saying is… you’re impossible. Er. “Dynamic.”
Jennifer: Should I quit my job and become a woman-child?
Ashley: More to the point, yes. This isn’t very good timing, what with currently hosting a theme week based specifically on shedding the yoke of woman-childom. Jennifer: No. I do feel like the virtuous thing is to reject that impulse, thereby upping the odds that you will produce valuable work and contribute to those around you. It’s pretty easy to do since I do not have a kind of shadowy-non-person hugging machine to spoon feed me sundaes.
Ashley: I feel like we don’t really know what to say here. If the question is, “Should I quit my job and get married?” the answer is, “No,” because 1) I like working and 2) I don’t want to marry someone who’d willingly foster my most base, self-indulgent impulses.
Jennifer: I think almost no husband exists to foster one’s most indulgent impulses except… Hugh Hefner?