• Thu, Sep 27 2012

Is It Bad Manners Not To Take Someone’s Number After A One-Night Stand? I Don’t Think So.

Anyone remember this song from the 80's?

For those who didn’t receive the memo, I’m in Key West for a few days. Being a great lover of Hemingway, I thought it only appropriate that I check out this place once before I die. I do not care for Florida, humidity or cats, so as I write this, I’m wondering what the hell I’m doing here… then I remember: Hemingway.

The weather has been a bust. I’m not sure I can remember what the sun looks like, but I think it’s yellow. Maybe? Either way, I have my bathing suit in my bag at all times in case the chance to hurl myself into the ocean arises. Actually, again, as I write this, I’m thinking I hear rain. WHY?

After I dropped off my things at my cottage the first day, I made a beeline to Duval Street which, having done my research, is both touristy and loaded with bars and food. I hadn’t eaten, been up since 430am and after two separate flights that were inundated with screaming babies, I needed a drink. Badly.

I always thought that I could fit in no matter where I go — style wise — but that’s not the case in Key West. I am pretty much the only one on the island who isn’t in shorts and flip-flops, so it probably shouldn’t have come as that much of a surprise when my bartender asked me from where I had come.

Conversation was successfully started.

As I was finishing my lunch, he was finishing he shift, so he agreed to be my tour guide. Our tour, one in which I realized that drinking is the number one past time down here (you can drink on the streets!), lasted for several hours. In fact it didn’t end until the following morning. But when in Key West, do as the locals do, right? Drink and have sex, and apparently, drink some more.

As Matthew was getting ready to leave, and I was getting ready to kick him out, he asked me for my number. I asked him why, because if I’m not making things difficult, I’m not me. He said he’d like to hang out again while I’m here, and if he ever made it up to New York City… yadda yadda yadda… I think we’ve all heard it all before and know what it means.

Under duress, I gave him number; my actual correct number, but only because I felt it rude to not do so. Would he feel like a piece of meat, if I hadn’t? Would I feel like I had done something wrong, if I marched him out the door and blew him a kiss from several feet away? He was so adorable and so sweet, that I wasn’t sure how to handle it. I know I won’t see him again, so there really is no point. But after you’ve had sex with someone, are you somehow obligated to play the manners card? I don’t think so, but I did anyway.

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  • Katie

    Seriously, I hate that. The worst was this dude made me Facebook friend him from his phone. That wasn’t to keep in touch, that was to creep on my pics and show his friend. Last time I wake up naked on an island, let me tell you.

    • Amanda Chatel

      Oops… that previous comment was to you, Katie… I guess I can’t figure shit out down here.

  • Amanda Chatel

    Please tell me you unfriended him stat… and more importantly, where were you yesterday morning when I needed input!?!

  • Katie

    Oh, I was busy dissecting a dead body. Next time though, no problem, can totally help you get rid of those clingy one night stands.

    • Katie

      Huh, well that came off way creepier than I meant it to. I will not be killing any of the one night stands to then dissect the body. I can just give moral support when trying to get guys out of your bed/business.

    • Amanda Chatel

      Katie, ignore “yo momma.” That one has been trolling my posts for days now…

      I’m glad there will be moral support when I “slut” it up again. xo.

  • Katie

    Oh, I was busy dissecting a dead body. Next time though, no problem, can totally help you get rid of those clingy one night stands.

  • MR

    So boring.

  • yo momma

    I love this post! “I just needed a drink” (and to get affirmed that my ‘style’ was acceptable by getting screwed by the first person I saw). Happy Birthday! Why would you need a phone number? Every bar has a bartender. Being a slut is totally cool! I’ll defer to Katie the coroner regarding the pesky facebook issues.

  • Kelly

    Key West! my favorite place on earth! If you love Hemingway make your way to Captain Tony’s (the original Sloppy Joe’s that Hemingway frequented and ask about the tree in the middle of the bar). Also, Angelina’s has the best pizza in town (It’s right next to Rick’s bar, where if you walk down stairs there is a full nude strip club and even though I am a prude, I had an absolute wonderful time when I went). And you have to go to the Garden of Eden just to experience the nude bars… which is usually a couple old men holding their clothes (why don’t they have lockers at nude bars?) and topless ladies. Sorry for the touristy info, I’m just unbelievable jealous.

    But with your predicament, manners don’t matter with a one night stand. It is a wham bam thank you (sir?) type of situation. However, if he was sweet, why not? It’s fun to hang out with all kinds of groups of people in Key West. Doesn’t mean you have to talk to him later.
    I think this is a product of the feminist movement though. He’s trying NOT to treat YOU like a piece of meat. An equal I guess…. but also maybe not? Maybe it’s because you’re a woman that you are too emotional and can’t stand the thought of a man not calling you after you have sex because you assume it means a relationship. Because God forbid women want to just have sex.
    Fuck it. Go get hammered at Sloppy Joes, alcohol and sun is all you should worry about in Key West.

    • Amanda Chatel

      I did go to Sloppy Joes — the one with the tree! But my god, I can’t keep up with all this drinking! It’s amazing how these townies handle it.

      So far it’s fun, but I have much more to do. I made a new friend last night and she’s going to take me on her vespa later today — of course, I’m terrified. But if I don’t die, I’ll write about it tomorrow.

      But yeah… god forbid we just want to get laid. Apparently, I’m a slut… such a slut… we’re all sluts. Pfft.

  • Crystal

    The last time I had a one night stand, not only did I not give him my number, I gave him a fake name and age. Also, I snuck out in the morning while he was asleep.