There are a lot of things that terrify me about living in the modern age. Global warming. The ever present threat of nuclear apocalypse. Government officials thinking that the female uterus can shut down rape presumably by witchcraft or “being sassy”. Toilet snakes.
But one of the things that makes me think “thank God I was born to this age, this most glorious age” is the Chobani Soho Cafe.
Unfortunately, this means there is nothing left but for me to challenge Katie J.M. Baker to a duel. I expected her piece “New Fancy Yogurt Cafe Makes Me Feel So Many Things“ to be just, I don’t know, words, like “flower” and “joy” and happy gurgling noises and her favorite letter typed over and over, because the Chobani Soho Cafe inspires such delight that it becomes hard to type. I would have understood that.
Do you know how the Chobani Soho Cafe makes me feel? Like this guy.
Holding the world in my hands, and laughing, and happy. But, with a smaller belly, because Chobani is fairly low calorie and generally high in protein. But still delicious! Seriously. Look at how lovely their flavors are:
Lovely. That’s how lovely they are.
Katie clearly did not agree. She writes: