Do You Know How To Grocery Shop Like An Adult?

Looks like a stellar meal to me.

Since we’re talking about being adults, one of the many adult things I’ve yet to learn is grocery shopping. I don’t know why, but I just can’t do it.

This morning I went to the local, well, I don’t know what they would call it down here — it was something between a bodega and a grocery store — to get some items to keep in my cottage for the last few days I’m here in Key West. I can’t eat out all the time, so I figured I needed to get some sundries to sustain myself. My intention was to buy eggs and some vegetables to cook with those eggs. As you can see in the above photo, I did not do that.

I bought the water, because once I got there and had lost about five pounds of weight thanks to the humidity, the water was necessary. I bought the Snapple because I needed caffeine and trying to find an iced-coffee in these parts is a near-impossible task. As for those key lime coconut patties, that’s my second package. I didn’t eat the first one, nor do I intend to eat the second, but because they’re bizarre I’m going to mail them to my nephews and let them try them. Where are the eggs I was going to buy? Still at the store somewhere.

Unfortunately, this is how I always shop when it comes to groceries. If I’m not having it delivered and can go line after line on a website picking out what I want or need, I will end up with this kind of stuff. Then I go home, stare at it and wonder why it’s so difficult to just buy some fucking food. Basically, each grocery shopping trip ends up in me having my next meal delivered. And that technique, of course, just ends up burning a hole in your wallet and when you have friends over you have nothing to offer for snacks. I’m thinking only a stoner would eat those key lime coconut patties.

Does anyone else have this problem? And if you know of a class I could take to fix it that would be great, too.

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    • scarlett

      MAKE A LIST! I know it sounds lame or like something a parent would say but it helps. It keeps your mind on track and less “ooooh chocolate.” It wont stop it, but it will help!

      • Amanda Chatel

        I had a list! But I clearly ignored it! Who buys key lime coconut thingies?!

      • scarlett

        I work at a grocery store … a Wegmans to be exact … stores are designed to makes people buy more and forget there list. So if you have a tendency to do that to begin with it makes life harder. Sabrina might have the right idea … and i know other stores offer online shopping and curb side pick up. I just don’t trust that Amanda, I don’t know how fresh your food is gonna be. Just for laughs… are you a person who likes to cook?

      • Amanda Chatel

        I like the *idea* of cooking and have made dinner for my friends on several occasions. But I only have about 5 recipes under my belt… it might be time to have Jennifer come over and show me the ways of the cooking world.

        Also I’ve never heard of this Wegmans place you guys keep mentioning!

      • scarlett

        Its easier to shop for a recipe. Expand those cooking skills Amanda! Wegmans is a grocery store chain on the east coast. It has a crazy following. On the opening day of the store I work for (about a year ago) we had a line that went around the store twice! People were there when I had to go in at 2 am!

    • Edie

      It’s because you don’t shop at Wegmans. Anytime I’m out of the Wegmans zone and have to shop somewhere else, it just depresses me and makes me want to drop my groceries and get the hell out of whatever fluorescent hell I’ve accidentally landed in.

    • Sabrina

      So I realize that your list didn’t work and this advice might just fall into the same category, but I always majorly sucked at grocery shopping until I started thinking in terms of actual meals. I sit down and think “what am I going to have for breakfast for the next four days?” Write down, eggs, bread, yogurt, and blueberries. Check. And onto lunch and so on and so forth. It totally keeps me on track. Otherwise, I eat whatever I pick up from the corner store while also purchasing wine, so basically funyuns.