So yesterday, Anne Hathaway got married to Adam Shulman in Big Sur, CA yesterday. As a person who personally never pays attention to celebrity weddings or even knows they’ve happened (except when they’re somehow for-profit and annoy the shit out of myself, not to mention the rest of the world), I actually thought the pictures I saw looked quite lovely.
Whereas most wedding photos I’ve seen of rich, famous people tying the knot seem to involve somewhat hideous dresses, too much gaudiness and overdecorated settings, they seemed to have a really cute, fairly hipster wedding. It appears they even took a walk through a cornfield! Apparently, Natalie Portman’s wedding planner was used in Hathaway’s wedding, as well, which makes sense as both had traditional Jewish ceremonies and chose the gorgeous location of Big Sur.
In addition to a perfect location, she also had an incredible dress. It was an extremely elegant, off-the-shoulder gown with a lengthy train and tons of lace paired with a big white wrapping veil (I’m a little less sure how I feel about that, though). Overall, I think she looks wonderful. I suddenly like her slightly more than I did after I saw the hissing, steaming pile that was The Dark Knight Rises!
Now that I’ve been all nice and not negative towards Mrs. Hathaway’s wedding, I have to admit that seeing beautiful bridal dresses and locations and whatnot makes me saddened in that stupidly stereotypical way. It just sounds so absurdly fun to essentially plan one of the most important parties in your lifetime for some months and then pick an awesome outfit or five and go cake testing and…well, you get the gist. Yes, I know it’s much more than that and it’s very stressful as well. And I’m certainly not the only single human being who feels this way; half the people I know have a wedding-related Pinterest, bookmark folder or photo album, even if they (like myself) are totally single. Some of them don’t even want to be in marriage ever; they just want to get married.
I am totally fine with my singledom, don’t get me wrong; I just kind of wish I could plan my own wedding every few months and just not marry anybody. I’m not sure if it’s because I like shopping, food, excuses to booze out, crying unnecessarily or simply controlling things, but I’m positive that if getting married over and over was somehow a career, I would’ve taken out so many student loans to declare my major as Pre-Wed (hyuck hyuck).
Though in all likelihood, I will desire an incredibly simple one with a simple dress and a simple ceremony in my grandmother’s garden rather than a big wild one. I think big events are sometimes like chocolate cake — it looks amazing and smells amazing and you can imagine yourself devouring the whole fucking thing, but then you’d feel like that kid in Matilda. So you opt, instead, for a lightly frosted slice.
Plus, in order to get married, I would have to date people. And in order to date people, I’d probably have to stop seeing the only two men I’ll ever love every night.