How To Eat A Cupcake Like A Gentleman

As we all know, cupcakes are one of the most beloved foods ever and, for some reason, are frequently in the news. From looking adorably international to being consumed by a writer on a toilet, cupcakes are simultaneously delicious, fashionable and ever-trendy.

Cupcakes are something we can’t help but often associate with our childhood. The excitement of somebody bringing a bunch to class or the way that you can have as many as you want when it’s your birthday; it’s all adorably nostalgic, albeit sometimes a little weird. Whether you love a good ol’ Funfetti or some crazy concoction made to taste like Christmas dinner by an experimental bakery, cupcakes are usually pretty awesome. I love them despite cupcakes being one of those really messy foods that inevitably results in a choice between getting my fingers and lips all gross like a 5-year-old or just eating in the damn tub all Dunham-style.

However, since we’re celebrating being adults with Big Girl Badge Week, I think it’s only appropriate that we take our cupcake consumption to the next level, shall we? Presenting a how-to on eating cupcakes like a grown up (well, a hot gentleman grown up to be exact, but whatever):

On that note, I’m saying “fuck losing weight for my upcoming vacation” and going to get a vegan creamsicle cupcake downtown.

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    • Renee

      Wait, your’e telling me that shoving it in all at once, ISN”T the right way to do it? Hmm, I call shenanigans.

      • Renee

        Seriously, why don’t they just make cupcake sandwiches then? Why do we have to do the work? The point of the cupcake is to just pick it up and eat it with your hands. C’mon bakeries. Get on this.

    • Sean

      Sorry, I *have* to weigh in here. The gentlemanly way to eat a cupcake is to break it the same way you break a dinner roll at the table. Break off a reasonably sized piece with some of the frosting on top, and eat it. The piece shouldn’t be so big that you can’t put it in your mouth without getting some of the frosting on your face. Repeat until the cupcake is gone.

      Then again, I’m a huge advocate of shoving the whole top in your mouth, then eating the base afterwards.

    • Amy

      This is why I loathe cupcakes at formal events.

      Like, you just sprung for a $50,000 wedding with fancy shmancy decor, cutlery, and dinner. Your guests are in their wedding best and then you make them eat cake with their hands. It always makes me feel ridiculous.