Dating Hijinks: Thanks To A Security Camera, I’m The Building ‘Tramp’

It might be time for me to move.

On Wednesdays, Amanda Chatel will be sharing stories about her strange, fascinating and sometimes wonderful dating life. If it makes you want to date, check out TheGloss dating page.

I received a text from a random 917 number the other day. It asked if I was home and if they could come by to “visit.” Yes, visit was in quotes. I asked who it was. The return response was, “We had sex in the hallway the other day, and I liked it… ;).” Dear god, I thought, I’ve lost my mind and had sex with someone who uses emoticons. However, I hadn’t had sex in the hallway.

I have, on more than one occasion, had intense make-out sessions in the lower stairwell that might look like sex to an untrained eye, but that’s it. I like to think that if I had had sex somewhere in my building other than in my bedroom, I’d remember it. I called out this anonymous texter and asked if it was Andrew — the last person with whom I’d had one of these, er, moments.

“You can call me Andrew, if you like. You like it rough, bad girl, don’t you?”

At that point, I told the person to “fuck off,” and that I wasn’t in the mood for any pranks. The mystery person immediately admitted that it was the super of my building, Robert, and that he was just “playing around with you, girl.” I do not take kindly to being harassed before noon on a Monday. Even if my super and I have a playful back-and-forth banter, the fact that he used someone else’s phone to pull this prank made me none too happy.

Apparently, according to my super who was kind enough to fill me in, they had installed security cameras in the building to catch people who don’t know how to recycle. These delightful new devices had, inadvertently, caught me not once, or twice, but three times messing around on the first floor. Again, I was none too happy.

I picked up the phone to call him.

“Since when have these things been there?” I asked.

“A couple months now,” Robert said, “But we only check them once a month. You’ve been… busy.”

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    • Ms. Pants

      Inappropriate. Your “super” sounds anything but.

    • Stefferz

      Those texts are considered sexual harassment. You need to report him.

      • Lo

        Second. Otherwise, he’ll think he can do this shit forever.

    • Jessie

      oh HEY-YEL no. He sounds like he needs a swift punch to the throat.

    • Stacy Fuller


    • Stacy Fuller

      I hate that we have to defend our sexuality. Even in this article, I felt like you were defending yourself to us by saying,”it wasn’t sex.” We are young, single and our sex lives should be our sex lives. People are so quick to throw out words like slut, tramp and whore. I don’t know if it is jealously or what but women ,especially, need to stop shaming other women’s choices.

      • Amanda Chatel

        Oh no, I wasn’t defending myself. I’d totally have sex in the hallway if the opportunity had come up. I was just pointing out that the super is a moron.

      • windows

        Agreed !! We as women should not have to bow our heads because we have had sex , or because we want to. There is something wrong with women making other women feel bad about being sexually active. Fucking , making love whatever you want to call it. Do it and don’t feel bad for it.

        Even though you and the “super” Have some what of friendly relationship , i feel like him texting you from another number and talking to you like that was disgusting. But i love the articles so keep em coming.

    • HeavyDee

      Wow. This guy is every kind of not ok. Did any of these activities involve necessary maintenance of something within the complex? That is the ONLY legitimate reason he would have had to comment on your social life. Otherwise him sexually harrassing you because he’s seen CCTV footage of you isn’t kooky and Hitchcock-esque. IT’S DISTURBING.I hope you called him a pervy asshole, and followed swiftly with “What? You are! It’s funny!”

    • len132

      That is freaking creepy.

    • Srini

      This is interesting: “security cameras in the building to catch people who don’t know how to recycle.” Really? This is “security?” We have gone nuts with security cameras. What’s next? Security cameras to catch people who don’t know how to walk up the stairs. One step at a time, people; not two, not three, not a flight of stairs, but one. By the way, super in my building once “caught” me doing a flight of stairs and I was apparently seriously flouting stairwell norms.

      Making out in the hallway is kind of cool though. But it has to be past midnight and before dawn and the wall must be used.

      • Ms. Pants

        New York City is really rabid about their recycling. Everyone is issued a 4 inch thick booklet of how to separate their trash into the 19345782 different recyclable genres and each is supposed to be kept separate, lest the rubbish deities get angry. I think the camera is a bit silly, but it’s also New York so it’s not all that surprising to me.

    • Fabel

      Eek. I’d be concerned over the way this guy basically tried to trick you into letting him into your apartment. If he texted from a different number, that’s not a joke at all. He’s just one of those creeps who “oh, JK!!” you when you say “no.”

    • Arielle

      His behavior is absolutely wrong. You have to report him.