Disturbing news from the sexy Halloween costume front. Following Mitt Romney‘s already infamous antiÂ Big Bird remarks, various costume retailers are reporting that their Big Bird costume sales are skyrocketing. For instance, CostumeCraze.com tells ABC News that sales of its “Sassy Big Bird” costume have increased some 500%.
“What’s wrong with Sassy Big Bird?” I thought when I first read this. “Seems like a good way to poke fun at Republicans, and Big Bird should be sassy after all the shade Romney’s thrown his way.”
The thing that is wrong with Sassy Big Bird is that Sassy Big Bird looks like this:
As you can see here, a Sassy Big Bird costume will not make you look like Big Bird at all, but like some kind of criminally insane flapper wearing stripper shoes who has murdered Big Bird, kept his feathers as a trophy, and turned his shrunken head into a hat. Why would you even joke about doing that to such a belovedÂ character as him? He just wanted to teach children to count, you monster! You’re even sicker than Romney.
On second thought, that might actually be an appropriate commentary on what Romney wants to do to PBS, but it might also be a bit too meta for anyone to get. Personally, I think I’m going to stick with that old standby, “Sexy Partial Birth Abortion Ban.”
(Via ABC News)