“I Would Totally Go Clubbing With My Mom”

No one ever talks about the fun, awesome side of cocaine!

Ashley: I’m all for transparency with parents (and I’m thankful mine were all for it, too) but I also think there’s a minimum amount of decorum with which you should conduct yourself around relatives. However, this is not the reason I wouldn’t take my mom to Lavo; I wouldn’t take my mom to Lavo because I don’t want to choke down a watery $20 rail vodka tonic in a near-impenetrable cloud of Thierry Mugler‘s Angel while dodging grindings from anonymous striped shirt bros who are really excited to be there.

Actually what all clubs are like.

Ashley: …It’s nothing to do with maturity, really. More quality of life. But I understand that you really, really like waffles.

Jennifer: They’re really good! But yes, I mean, I think I could happily do that with my mom. I do not think, in spite of her being someone I largely regard as a close friend I share things with, I could do a line of cocaine in front of her without her yelling at me.

Ashley: And that’s Dina Lohan’s problem, ultimately. Not yelling enough.

Jennifer: hahahahaha. No, Dina Lohan’s problem is wanting to be a young person herself. Maybe my mom and I get along well because we both want to be old people, sort of. We talk a lot about art, and restaurants, and complain about people behaving badly. Dina and Lindsay both seem to want to enjoy the recklessness that accompanies youth, to obviously disastrous results.

Ashley: Still, being kidnapped by your limo driver is a legitimate fear for some people and I don’t think we should marginalize that.

Jennifer: I bet the limo driver has a great mom.

Ashley: I… completely agree.

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    • jamiepeck

      I went “clubbing” with my mom a couple weekends ago. We drank some wine and danced to soul music with my friends. It was fun! I don’t think that’s the kind of clubbing we are talking about here, though.

    • Jessie

      I was just casually hate – looking through (read: unabashedly hate – creeping through) a high school acquaintances photo album of the hideous wedding she just had. I noticed that her mom came with her on her bachelorette and I just found it plain weird. I know some gals invite their mom along for their evening/weekend of debauchery and penile paraphernalia – but honestly I just don’t get it. I love my mom with ever fiber of my being – but there is a time and a place to get drunk and say inappropriate aloud to one another, and it’s Thanksgiving.