Men Tell Us: The Food You Could Cook To Make Them Propose

engagement chicken

Engagement chicken is dumb. Right?

I mean, I think it’s staggeringly dumb to assume that if you cook a man a specific food he will propose. Maybe that’s because it always reminds me of a scene in Hysterical Blindness – a staggeringly depressing HBO movie – in which Uma Thurman begs her one night stand to come over and eat a filet mignon she will prepare, and then she spends the day cooking it and he stands her up. It’s awful.

So, I always think that women who believe things like this wear their hair like this:

hysterical blindness

So! That is why I never do anything but periodically hurl Chipotle wrappers at my gentlemen-friends.

But then I realized that I would probably marry, say, Wylie Dufresne if he cooked me anything, and I don’t find him terribly attractive. I would certainly marry someone who I found even remotely attractive who could make ortolan. 100%. Don’t care if they have any other character traits.

So I asked our man panel foods that a woman could make them that would cause them to propose. Here are their answers:

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    • alexandra

      I hate Beef Wellington, but Ed is still my favorite.

    • Sarah Anne Lloyd

      When I see the second one all I can think about is Clueless.

      • Jennifer Wright

        Oh my God, yes, me too. When she tries to sleep with the gay man.

    • Jessica

      It’s funny that Paella should come up. I happened to catch an episode of Rick Steves Europe the other day (don’t ask,) in which they showed the step-by-step process for making that dish. I must say Alex, that’s a bit of a set-up for the girl in question, isn’t it? I suppose the “reward” is a life-long committment from you. So, fair enough. Good luck with that.

    • theheartbandits

      lol I am a Marriage Proposal Planner and have never had a man say he was proposing because of food. Maybe it’s subliminal!

      Michele Velazquez

    • MR

      I like a woman who likes food and likes to prepare it as much as I do. There is a whole social, friends-getting-together flow that comes with it. Yeah, it enhances a marriage.