It’s that moment where you suddenly realize too much. You’re sitting there at the table, pushing around your empty water glass, the half-consumed martini and you’ve barely touched your lunch. You’re listening to the person across from you and you can see that their lips are moving, you know that they’re speaking to you, but you can’t hear them. You’re focused on something else.
Maybe it’s the way his glasses are slightly crooked, the sound of his tapping fingers against the table whenever a lull happens in the conversation or the random piece of thread on the collar of his shirt that needs to be cut. This is all you can notice; this is all that makes sense.
And you know that the lunch will end in tears. You know that it won’t be so much about being sad, as it is that it’s hard to let go, forget and move on because you’ve already established in your head and heart that you no longer love this person. It’s been realized and something about this particular moment, this tapping of his finger or the stray thread has confirmed it.
You’ll quote My So-Called Life to your friends later that day to drive home your thought process, and by the weekend’s end, you will have compared that instant as something out of the third season of Sex and the City. You will be embarrassed you’re comparing yourself to Carrie for the umpteenth time, but you also know it’s easier than trying to find a more real scenario that makes sense. Reality hurts; reality fucking kills.
Sometimes love just dies, and if it didn’t we wouldn’t have rom-coms or bad pop songs about heartbreak or an entire canon of literary work dedicated to the sometimes shitty, but often great emotion called love. You have to know what the loss feels like, if you’re to truly comprehend what love is.
Yeah, it’s a bitch, but eventually you’ll realize you’re a fantastic person for having loved and an even better one for having survived the loss. So don’t kid yourself and don’t waste your time; falling out of love is just as clear as falling in love. There are no questions; you either know it or you don’t.
Whether you’ve been broken up for months and are finally just coming to terms, or it hit you like a ton of bricks just yesterday, here’s how to know for absolute sure.