Gods are hot. Right? They’re perfect, so in addition to being all-knowing and all-powerful, it totally makes sense that they’d be all-attractive. Just look at Apollo’s abs. Stare at them for a while.
Apollo, the God of Rippedness
But forget the Greeks! Forget the Romans! And leave aside my weird childhood crush on the pictures of Jesus in my teen bible!
Jesus is totes crushworthy
Because the religion you would least suspect of caring about physical beauty has got a total lock on Cosmo-style checklist obsessiveness about pretty deities. That’s right: the Buddhists have a tradition of listing the Thirty-two Major Characteristics and the 80 Minor Characteristics of the
Buddha. These lists, detailed in ancient sutras and other Buddhist writings, describe the features that make the Buddha and his numerous reincarnations and manifestations so Hollywood glam. And it’s not just the Buddha – if you’re particularly saintly, you might even have or develop some of the characteristics, too.
Some of the characteristics are pretty standard-issue for a deity, like number 15, having a golden aura spread in a ten-foot diameter all around his body (because a mere 9 feet of golden light is just not enough) and number 8, having “thighs like a royal stag” (p.s., turns out that this is not as good a compliment to give your boyfriend as you might think).