• Thu, Oct 18 2012

I Was An Infomercial Guinea Pig (And It Was Awful)

For the next 2 months, each 45 minute workout was complete hell.

The celebrity trainer seemed constantly stressed out. She taught the classes herself. She pushed the group hard. She yelled as if she had just done a speedball.

Most workouts were similar to the DVD’s that would be mass produced and sold on late night television…the celebrity trainer would just add more weights and repetitions for quicker results. Some of them were completely different-hardcore cardio driven, and we were encouraged to do at least 30 minutes of cardio on our own every day before our class.

Over the course of the test group, things started getting a little weird. Some people would cry during the workouts. Others would vomit.

I found that if I pretended to cry, I could go chill out in the ladies locker room and relax for a good 10 minutes before someone came to look for me. Sometimes I’d just sneak out of the class 20 minutes early because I didn’t feel like putting up with it. I wanted to lose weight and do a good job, but the dynamic was getting weird. Women were clinging to each other in silence after the workouts and embracing as if it were some Lifetime movie about a concentration camp. “We can do this,” they whispered, “we can make it through.”

Everyone was losing weight, just as the trainer hoped for. A few women on the heavier side easily dropped 15-20 the first week, then tapered off to 2-3 pounds a week. I’d usually lose 1-2 pounds a week.

Unfortunately, by the time the end of month one rolled around, I was completely insane, and so were a lot of the other women. This was not turning out to be a fun experience. Once in a lifetime, maybe, but fun. Not so much. No one was being held against their will and could’ve walked out and quit at any minute, but it was almost as if we had been brainwashed to want to stay.

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  • Cat

    I always wondered if those before and after shots were real!! Thanks for the inside look. Sounds terrifying/awesome.

  • Trish

    Do you have a job? How is having to be at the gym at 10am on weekdays difficult? I have to assume you are still a college student or something. Only college students think 10am is early.

    • http://twitter.com/sarahannelloyd Sarah Anne Lloyd

      I’ve been out of college for a few years and 10 a.m. still feels early for me a lot of the time :( Especially for anything demanding at all, like a rigorous workout.

    • mm

      I feel you, girl. I haaaaated having a full-time job where I had to be at work by 9 every day. Now that I’m back in school I have not one class that starts before 12, and on my work days I start at 10, which is still painful. I don’t even feel awake until 7:00 pm. Trish is mean. Obviously adults deal with getting to work in the morning no matter how much it sucks BUT…some people are morning people, some are not. That has absolutely nothing to do with how old you are.

    • curiouschick

      So your regular job doesn’t start until after 10?

    • http://twitter.com/sarahannelloyd Sarah Anne Lloyd

      I’ve been out of college for a few years and 10 a.m. still feels early for me a lot of the time :( Especially for anything demanding at all, like a rigorous workout.

  • Kelly

    Very interesting! Any one else thinking she is talking about Tracy Anderson?

  • http://www.facebook.com/spockish Erynn Petrulis

    I thought your before picture was pretty…

  • http://www.facebook.com/spockish Erynn Petrulis

    I thought your before picture was pretty…

  • http://www.facebook.com/spockish Erynn Petrulis

    I thought your before picture was pretty…

  • http://www.facebook.com/spockish Erynn Petrulis

    I thought your before picture was pretty…

  • http://www.facebook.com/spockish Erynn Petrulis

    I thought your before picture was pretty…

  • http://www.facebook.com/spockish Erynn Petrulis

    I thought your before picture was pretty…

  • http://www.facebook.com/spockish Erynn Petrulis

    I thought your before picture was pretty…

  • http://www.facebook.com/spockish Erynn Petrulis

    I thought your before picture was pretty…

  • http://www.facebook.com/spockish Erynn Petrulis

    I thought your before picture was pretty…

  • http://www.facebook.com/spockish Erynn Petrulis

    I thought your before picture was pretty…

  • http://www.facebook.com/spockish Erynn Petrulis

    I thought your before picture was pretty…

  • http://www.facebook.com/spockish Erynn Petrulis

    I thought your before picture was pretty…

  • besides

    so sometimes she is into the program and sometimes she is against it. sounds like she needs to seek counseling. she was free to leave at anytime but came back just to rebel then participate at times… i’m confused.

  • besides

    so sometimes she is into the program and sometimes she is against it. sounds like she needs to seek counseling. she was free to leave at anytime but came back just to rebel then participate at times… i’m confused.

  • besides

    so sometimes she is into the program and sometimes she is against it. sounds like she needs to seek counseling. she was free to leave at anytime but came back just to rebel then participate at times… i’m confused.

  • besides

    so sometimes she is into the program and sometimes she is against it. sounds like she needs to seek counseling. she was free to leave at anytime but came back just to rebel then participate at times… i’m confused.

  • besides

    so sometimes she is into the program and sometimes she is against it. sounds like she needs to seek counseling. she was free to leave at anytime but came back just to rebel then participate at times… i’m confused.

  • besides

    so sometimes she is into the program and sometimes she is against it. sounds like she needs to seek counseling. she was free to leave at anytime but came back just to rebel then participate at times… i’m confused.

  • besides

    so sometimes she is into the program and sometimes she is against it. sounds like she needs to seek counseling. she was free to leave at anytime but came back just to rebel then participate at times… i’m confused.

  • besides

    so sometimes she is into the program and sometimes she is against it. sounds like she needs to seek counseling. she was free to leave at anytime but came back just to rebel then participate at times… i’m confused.

  • besides

    so sometimes she is into the program and sometimes she is against it. sounds like she needs to seek counseling. she was free to leave at anytime but came back just to rebel then participate at times… i’m confused.

  • besides

    so sometimes she is into the program and sometimes she is against it. sounds like she needs to seek counseling. she was free to leave at anytime but came back just to rebel then participate at times… i’m confused.

  • besides

    so sometimes she is into the program and sometimes she is against it. sounds like she needs to seek counseling. she was free to leave at anytime but came back just to rebel then participate at times… i’m confused.

  • jamiepeck

    You looked good in a bikini already. This sounds like a nightmare!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003550070412 Laura Brian

    Losing weight and sticking to any workout routine is going to be hard in any situation. I’ve been doing it on my own and would kill to have a ruthless trainer…she WAS lucky.

  • G.L.

    Thanks for sharing your experience! This was a really interesting article to read.

  • Kat

    Personally i think your body in the purple bikini (before picture) looks healthy. You just need to wear a high waisted pant bikini with thicker straps (no spaghetti straps) and one which lifts up your breasts, then you’ll look much better and feel confident.

    Those quick fix starvation diets and excessive exercise regimes last for only a short time then when people have lost the weight, they will, almost definitely gain it all back, even being heavier than when they first started. It just isn’t healthy or manageable, or smart.