• Thu, Oct 18 2012

I Was An Infomercial Guinea Pig (And It Was Awful)

Sometimes we’d be given pep talks when the cheerleaders could tell the morale was down. “We believe in you. You can do this. Don’t give up.” Meanwhile, the trainer would sit in the corner texting angrily, hyped up on caffeine or whatnot. I assume their texts were about wanting to put us through physical hell.

We were constantly being reminded of how lucky we were to be in such a program. And we were being enticed with offers of possible cash prizes and a trip to an exotic location where we could frolic in bikinis and show off our new toned bodies. This was motivation to stick around.

I’m also fairly competitive, so the need to “win” made me even crazier. I lived and breathed the gym. I mean, I walked out 20 minutes early sometimes, but not all that often. And I did eat only the food they’d give me every day.

As a result, I was obsessed, sleep deprived, miserable, and taking it out on my poor fiancé who was convinced I had been brainwashed.

All I cared about was the infomercial. I wasn’t the only one. Other women in the class were having adverse reactions with the test group. An older woman would sob hysterically everyday in the lobby of the gym to one of the cheerleaders. She lost weight though, so the cheerleaders seemed fine with it.

Two other females in the group also had relationship issues with their significant others and almost broke up. One girl pulled her hamstring and could barely work-out. She still would show up to the classes in full workout gear frantically doing upper body exercises in a chair, pushing herself to the point of tears. Another woman hurt her knee and had to wear a brace. One girl got a fucking hernia. I was trying to impress this fitness guru, but for what and for WHY? Did it have something to do with being yelled at in high school gym class for not being able to run a mile fast enough? . Was it because I didn’t make the top ten when I competed in Miss Nebraska so many years before? Did I even really want to appear on an infomercial shown on late night television? Hell no!

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  • Cat

    I always wondered if those before and after shots were real!! Thanks for the inside look. Sounds terrifying/awesome.

  • Trish

    Do you have a job? How is having to be at the gym at 10am on weekdays difficult? I have to assume you are still a college student or something. Only college students think 10am is early.

    • http://twitter.com/sarahannelloyd Sarah Anne Lloyd

      I’ve been out of college for a few years and 10 a.m. still feels early for me a lot of the time :( Especially for anything demanding at all, like a rigorous workout.

    • mm

      I feel you, girl. I haaaaated having a full-time job where I had to be at work by 9 every day. Now that I’m back in school I have not one class that starts before 12, and on my work days I start at 10, which is still painful. I don’t even feel awake until 7:00 pm. Trish is mean. Obviously adults deal with getting to work in the morning no matter how much it sucks BUT…some people are morning people, some are not. That has absolutely nothing to do with how old you are.

    • curiouschick

      So your regular job doesn’t start until after 10?

    • http://twitter.com/sarahannelloyd Sarah Anne Lloyd

      I’ve been out of college for a few years and 10 a.m. still feels early for me a lot of the time :( Especially for anything demanding at all, like a rigorous workout.

  • Kelly

    Very interesting! Any one else thinking she is talking about Tracy Anderson?

  • http://www.facebook.com/spockish Erynn Petrulis

    I thought your before picture was pretty…

  • http://www.facebook.com/spockish Erynn Petrulis

    I thought your before picture was pretty…

  • http://www.facebook.com/spockish Erynn Petrulis

    I thought your before picture was pretty…

  • http://www.facebook.com/spockish Erynn Petrulis

    I thought your before picture was pretty…

  • http://www.facebook.com/spockish Erynn Petrulis

    I thought your before picture was pretty…

  • http://www.facebook.com/spockish Erynn Petrulis

    I thought your before picture was pretty…

  • http://www.facebook.com/spockish Erynn Petrulis

    I thought your before picture was pretty…

  • http://www.facebook.com/spockish Erynn Petrulis

    I thought your before picture was pretty…

  • http://www.facebook.com/spockish Erynn Petrulis

    I thought your before picture was pretty…

  • http://www.facebook.com/spockish Erynn Petrulis

    I thought your before picture was pretty…

  • http://www.facebook.com/spockish Erynn Petrulis

    I thought your before picture was pretty…

  • http://www.facebook.com/spockish Erynn Petrulis

    I thought your before picture was pretty…

  • besides

    so sometimes she is into the program and sometimes she is against it. sounds like she needs to seek counseling. she was free to leave at anytime but came back just to rebel then participate at times… i’m confused.

  • besides

    so sometimes she is into the program and sometimes she is against it. sounds like she needs to seek counseling. she was free to leave at anytime but came back just to rebel then participate at times… i’m confused.

  • besides

    so sometimes she is into the program and sometimes she is against it. sounds like she needs to seek counseling. she was free to leave at anytime but came back just to rebel then participate at times… i’m confused.

  • besides

    so sometimes she is into the program and sometimes she is against it. sounds like she needs to seek counseling. she was free to leave at anytime but came back just to rebel then participate at times… i’m confused.

  • besides

    so sometimes she is into the program and sometimes she is against it. sounds like she needs to seek counseling. she was free to leave at anytime but came back just to rebel then participate at times… i’m confused.

  • besides

    so sometimes she is into the program and sometimes she is against it. sounds like she needs to seek counseling. she was free to leave at anytime but came back just to rebel then participate at times… i’m confused.

  • besides

    so sometimes she is into the program and sometimes she is against it. sounds like she needs to seek counseling. she was free to leave at anytime but came back just to rebel then participate at times… i’m confused.

  • besides

    so sometimes she is into the program and sometimes she is against it. sounds like she needs to seek counseling. she was free to leave at anytime but came back just to rebel then participate at times… i’m confused.

  • besides

    so sometimes she is into the program and sometimes she is against it. sounds like she needs to seek counseling. she was free to leave at anytime but came back just to rebel then participate at times… i’m confused.

  • besides

    so sometimes she is into the program and sometimes she is against it. sounds like she needs to seek counseling. she was free to leave at anytime but came back just to rebel then participate at times… i’m confused.

  • besides

    so sometimes she is into the program and sometimes she is against it. sounds like she needs to seek counseling. she was free to leave at anytime but came back just to rebel then participate at times… i’m confused.

  • jamiepeck

    You looked good in a bikini already. This sounds like a nightmare!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003550070412 Laura Brian

    Losing weight and sticking to any workout routine is going to be hard in any situation. I’ve been doing it on my own and would kill to have a ruthless trainer…she WAS lucky.

  • G.L.

    Thanks for sharing your experience! This was a really interesting article to read.

  • Kat

    Personally i think your body in the purple bikini (before picture) looks healthy. You just need to wear a high waisted pant bikini with thicker straps (no spaghetti straps) and one which lifts up your breasts, then you’ll look much better and feel confident.

    Those quick fix starvation diets and excessive exercise regimes last for only a short time then when people have lost the weight, they will, almost definitely gain it all back, even being heavier than when they first started. It just isn’t healthy or manageable, or smart.