Science Finally Invents A Cure For The Plague Of Searing Pizza Burns In Our Mouths

You know when you’re about to eat a delicious slice of pizza, and you know it’s too hot but you just can’t help yourself, and you burn your tongue on the first bite? And, to make matters worse, everything tastes like fucking cardboard after that, despite containing the same number of calories?? I’ve experienced this more times than I’d like to remember, partly because I like my food to be burning hot but mainly because I display Simpsonian levels of thickness when it comes to learning to pause before I scarf, a relatively simple concept that only takes lab rats two or three tries.

Well, it looks like I don’t even need to bother trying to get better about this, because science has invented little dissolvable strips that will instantly heal nasty burns in your mouth. Thanks, science?

Via The American Association of Pharmaceutical Scientists:

A dissolvable oral strip has been developed to immediately relieve pain from burns caused by ingestion of hot foods and liquids, such as coffee, pizza, and soup. This research is being presented at the 2012 American Association of Pharmaceutical Scientists (AAPS) Annual Meeting and Exposition, the world’s largest pharmaceutical sciences meeting, in Chicago, Ill., on Oct. 14 – 18.

Lead researcher Jason McConville, Ph.D., and colleagues from University of Texas at Austin, designed the strip for controlled delivery of a local anesthetic, benzocaine, and a therapeutic polymer. Benzocaine, commonly used as a topical pain reliever in dental products and throat lozenges, was chosen as for its non-irritating properties.

The strip is applied directly to the burned part of the tongue, cheek or roof of the mouth. It sticks to the affected area and won’t interfere with normal day-to-day activities, as it quickly dissolves for instant pain relief and promotes healing.

“We found these strips to be non-toxic, which has huge potential for anyone who burns their mouth while eating and drinking hot foods—and that’s just about everyone,” said McConville. “The strips look and behave similar to breath freshening strips that you might find at your local drugstore.”

It’s not exactly jetpacks, but I’ll take it. And actually, considering the relative cost of those two things and the amount I would use each of them, this might even be better. The strips haven’t been tested on humans yet, but I’m optimistic. You can’t hurt me anymore, you stupid sexy pizza. I will soon be immune to your siren song of scalding deliciousness.

(Via Buzzfeed)

Photo

Share This Post: