Cat Marnell Gets Wet, Makes Out With Girls and Does Her Cat Marnell Thing In A Music Video

Hello, Cat, come back to earth, please.

If only we could all live long enough that a day could pass in which we are not bombarded by Cat Marnell‘s latest antics and stunts to “shock” the world, or more specifically New York City, with her free-wheelin’ ways. Yes, that would be a glorious day indeed. But that day has yet to come, and as long as she doesn’t overdose, those days are faraway.

Former xoJane beauty editor, permanent hot mess, glamorized drug user and current Vice columnist (that is when she actually decides to contribute) Cat Marnell has now made the leap to music video star. With glassy eyes for most of the it, that just sort of stare without direction or purpose all while chomping on gum, Marnell does her best “I’m fucked up” face in the new Riff Raff video — apparently he’s a hip-hop/performance artist — and wow, she does it well. Practice makes perfect!

As she dances, gets wet, makes out with a girl on a rooftop and glows with whatever the hell she has on her skin, her eyes have a dead look to them. Even when she smiles and appears to be having fun in the scenes that bounce back and forth between piles of pills, she just looks so vacant. Perhaps she’s a good actress — the song is called “Midnight Sprite,” so the video would call for a strung out party girl, but I’m not buying it. Writers can’t act, that’s why they write.

For the first time ever, I feel bad for her. Usually I’m just annoyed, but her gaze is so barren, so defeated and her actions so desperate for attention (more so than usual), I just want to give her a hug. Oh. My. God. I want to hug Cat Marnell! She made me grow a heart! Someone alert the papers! She also makes me never want to touch a drug again, so that’s definitely a good thing.

Watch the video and let me know if you want to give her a hug, too.

Photo: YouTube

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    • Benita

      I only got as far as the white guy trying to appropriate ghetto culture and I had to turn it off. Of course Cat would associate with people like this.

      • Amanda Chatel

        According to Radar, she’s banging that dude: “it’s a sex and drugs thing, they’re not dating. They hook up when they’re in the same city.” Gross.

    • samwise

      I always want to give her a hug, but then again, I would hug alot more strangers if it wasn’t weird or possibly dangerous.

      • Amanda Chatel

        Me, too. Whenever I see strangers in the street crying, I want to hug them. But you never know if someone is going to stab you for such a thing.

      • samwise

        Absolutely!! But also, I don’t want to give someone the wrong idea ( that I will bone them) just because I am cuddly.

    • jamiepeck

      I’ve always had intensely mixed feelings about Cat, but I think I am kind of starting to love her. I would feel really awkward if I ever met her in person, though. Then again, I’ve promised myself I won’t write anything else about her until I do.

    • alma

      SHE IS CHEWING GUM THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE VIDEO…kill me now

    • Sunshine

      I barely noticed Cat. That man was terrifying.

    • Fabel

      I would hug her if that slimy stuff on her skin didn’t rub off on me. What kind of effect were they going for with that?? (Which really shouldn’t be my only question about this video…)

    • Samantha_Escobar

      All I can think about is how they avoided their gum touching and combining into one big piece. Gross.

    • OzBeth

      That was the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.

    • wendalls

      I like cat – she’s human.