• Wed, Nov 7 2012

You Can Get Pregnant From Masturbation (And Other Untruths I ‘Learned’ From A Lack Of Sex Education)

When I was around twelve, my mother sat me down and said, “Sam, we have to talk.” Instantly, I knew it was coming: the incredibly awkward, I-had-only-heard-stories-as-of-yet sex talk that I so desperately didn’t want to have. She continued.

“I know you’re getting older, and you’re becoming more of an adult.” Oh good god. ”I want you to know we trust you and we think you’re responsible, so I think we should talk about–”

Being certain I could take no more, as I was a preteen and desperately did not want to have such a remarkably uncomfortable discussion with my mother, I blurted out: “ARE WE GETTING A DOG?”

She stared at me for a few moments, confused and clearly trying to find the words to say.

“Sure… yeah, we–we’re getting a dog.”

The result of our talk.

And get a dog, we did! We never discussed sex again, not even a little bit, until I was in college, by which time I had been sexually active for years and knew the ins and outs of most sex-related topics relevant to a teenager. I knew about various types of birth control, as I had been on it since I was 13 anyway due to having appendicitis-like symptoms during my 2-week long periods.

But it wasn’t always like that. In fact, between the almost-talk and college, I had a considerable amount of very confused ideas on what sex was supposed to be like, as well as what it could result in.

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  • Tania

    My elementary school and high school had very detailed sex-ed, and I don’t think anyone in my grade (a large high school for Vancouver) got pregnant. I can’t think of anyone in the school getting pregnant. There were condoms in a jar in the counsellor’s rooms, and the youth clinic which offered free everything was two blocks from the high school, so that might have helped.

    I will never understand abstinence-only education.

    • Guest

      Where as I grew up in a community with abstan only

    • http://www.facebook.com/sameurysm Samantha Escobar

      Your school system sounds AMAZING.

    • Tania

      It was really good! Although the pictures of advanced STDs definitely scared me off sex for a while (which wasn’t the intent; they were showing it so we’d get anything unusual checked out instead of waiting until our genitals looked like cauliflower and oh god I need some brain bleach).

    • Leila

      I got that same HIGHLY graphic STD slide show, and I really think it was intended to scare us off sex for a while. I couldn’t look at boys for like a week. Also, condoms for everyone ever!

  • Lo

    Agreed. Parents and schools should share responsibility for sex education, emotional and physical. It’s essential that kids don’t have just one reference for all this, no matter how well-intentioned.

  • Colleen

    When I turned 16, my mother took me to a gynecologist. I received my first ever pap smear with instructions that it should be done once a year. I learned how to give myself a breast exam, was put on birth control pills to help my irregular cycles (and mom said it was precaution, not permission), and free reign to ask the doctor anything I wanted about sex, puberty, and STDs. It was pretty freaking awesome. If I have a daughter someday I will probably go the same route.

  • camilla

    Stories like these make me so glad I’m Danish.. In Denmark we don’t mix religion with education (or anything else for that matters).. We educate.. I think abstinence only is stupid, cause you are supposed to educate the children, not scare them